Page 30 of Sapphire Storm

Standing over him now, Ethan placed a hand on his hunchedupper back. “Did she stop talking to you?” he asked softly.Like mine did,hekept to himself.

Roman shook his head.

“Then she loved you. Always and forever. People who love usget mad at us sometimes. People who don’t love us have no feelings about us atall.”

“But I wish… I wish I’d stayed in school so she could knowhow much it me-meant…to me that she worked so hard for me. But I thought I washot shit! I was gonna be-be some big fi-fitness st-star and buy-buy her abigger house and then—”

“Hey,” Ethan said softly.

It happened in an instant. Ethan wasn’t quite sure who’dinitiated it, just that in the blink of an eye, Roman Walker was in his arms.

For a mad, breathless second, Ethan thought the guy mighttry to kiss him. Which would be wrong, so wrong. Which would make him feel likehe was taking advantage of someone young and vulnerable and grief stricken. ButRoman Walker held to him instead, head pressed to his chest as sobs wrenchedfrom him, sobs so strong it sounded like he’d been holding them in for months.

Slowly, Ethan steered them toward the sofa. Roman was so outof his body with grief, Ethan could have guided him anywhere. As soon as theysank down into the cushions together, he started to go over sideways, but heheld on to one of Ethan’s wrists, and that said he wanted Ethan to go over withhim.

They were spooning now on Ethan’s deep, cushy sofa, and itmade Ethan’s head spin and his breaths whistle in his nose, a sound Romanprobably couldn’t hear over his own essential tears.

With his one free arm, Ethan reached up for the end tablenext to their heads. A few grasps later, his fingers found the remote. Themovie was still frozen where he’d paused it earlier that night, a perfecttwo-shot of DeNiro and Kilmer drinking from their coffee cups before plate glasswindows filled with sparkling ocean. He paged out of it and over to his musicapp. Roman didn’t notice.

It was a risk, what he was about to do. It might tip theyoung man over the edge into a place that was despairing instead of cathartic.But Roman Walker had plenty of grief he needed to set free. More importantly,Ethan was betting on the fact that Roman’s earlier talk of Mario Lanza andopera classics had been signs of a latent desire to plunge more fully intomemories of the mother he’d loved and the music she’d loved.

And so, with the tap of a button, Ethan filled his apartmentwith the soaring sounds of “Nessun Dorma.” The guy shook with several morestrong sobs, then he clutched Ethan’s hand more tightly to his, which toldEthan that his mother’s favorite song was exactly what Roman Walker needed.

9

In Ethan’s fitful dreams, they made love. But hisdreams were always wild, cartoonish things he never mistook for waking reality.In this latest round, the flashes of Roman’s naked body looked like someplasticized cartoon, and occasionally Roman’s face became Zach Loudon’s, allwarm encouraging smiles but frighteningly out of place. One minute, the livingroom was flooded with sunlight, then dark and shadow filled. In the next, allthe lights would be turned on and so would the TV. And Robert DeNiro and ValKilmer were giving him a gruff lecture on the mistake he was making, tastingthe forbidden flesh of a former client’s son. Then it wasn’t his living room atall, but a New York hotel room he didn’t want to identify.

What woke him finally was the feeling of Roman slipping outfrom his embrace, followed by the sound of his socked feet padding down thehall. A few blinks before Roman slipped into the bathroom confirmed they were bothfully clothed and had been for the entire night.

Outside, morning birds chirped. His apartment faced west, sothe morning sun wasn’t too blinding, but he hadn’t closed the curtains over thewalls of glass looking out onto his balcony, and now he’d have to bury his facein the sofa pillows to get back to sleep.

More than Ethan’s arms felt empty. He was bracing for thehurried sounds of Roman’s departure. A shameful retreat with the dawn that saidhe thought this night of sofa snuggling had been as inappropriate as thecontent of Ethan’s lusty dreams.

As Roman moved about the bathroom, Ethan debated sitting up,greeting Roman’s return with casual chitchat that would turn his speedy exitinto a polite and gracious one.

But Ethan couldn’t move. Roman’s delicious, rich colognebathed the sofa pillows, and there was no pulling himself away from the scent.In the midst of this thrall, Roman slowly returned to the living room, as iftrying not to wake the master of the house.

Eyes closed, feigning sleep, Ethan braced himself for thesounds of the guy hesitating at the end of the sofa, sinking into the chairnearby to tug on the designer tennis shoes Ethan had removed for him last nightas he’d wept.

Then he felt Roman’s weight fully sink into the cushions nextto him, felt the guy slowly spoon himself back into Ethan’s body, gentlyraising Ethan’s upturned arm so he could tuck himself under it again. The youngman gently pulled Ethan’s hand closer to his chest like one might the edge of acomforting blanket. And the breath slowly returned to Ethan’s lungs.

The ache in his gut was a warning sign. If he didn’t head itoff, his cock would soon be a steel rod against Roman’s ass. He told his bodyto give itself over to the comfort and rest, the relief of Roman’s return.Silently signaling his desire to the man next to him through a subtle press or abrazen rub, trying to see if the man shared it, these felt like acts of theft.Attempts to distract from the wild storm of feelings that had been unleashedinside him by a night of chaste and clothed snuggling.

In the end, he succeeded. The tension in his gut loosened.Thoughts seized control of blood flow. For now. And after a short while, sleepreturned. This time it was deep, and Roman’s return supplied the counterweighthe needed to keep from flying off into a frenzied dreamland.

When he woke again, there was more sunlight in the room. Andhe could hear the shower running, a sound that suggested there’d be no rusheddeparture. Maybe they’d have breakfast. This pleased him more than he wanted itto.

And then he tried to move.

The cry that tore from him was so loud he heard Roman shutoff the shower in response. “Ethan?” he called from the bathroom.

Footsteps, the shower door swinging open.

“Yeah, I…” Ethan called back, but his attempt to keep the painfrom his voice was a choked, groaning failure. “My back.”

Just as he’d feared on the trail the night before, thepiggyback ride he’d given Roman was now exacting its terrible toll.

The returning footsteps were hurried, and suddenly he wassmelling his own woodsy body wash coming off Roman Walker in waves. Eyes closedagainst the pain, Ethan had rolled over onto his back. Now he was afraid tomove. His first slight motions resulted in knife stabs across his lower back.

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