Page 49 of Sapphire Storm

Was it possible to hold your breath for three whole days? Itfelt like that’s exactly what he’d been doing. Like he could feel hisextremities again for the first time. He could feel the upholstery of the chairbeneath him. He was no longer reflexively glancing at the nearest exits as ifhe’d have to race from the villa at any moment. But with the easing of tensioncame a realization. “Well, why didn’t she tell methat?”

“Because there’s something she’s hiding. SomethingI’mhiding. Because she wants me to hide it.” Worried any guess might end up beingoffensive, he waited for her to break the silence. “I’m ace, sweetie.”

“You’re what?”

“I’m asexual. And not in anIhaven’t had agood enough roll in the sackkind of way. It’s my identity. It took me twoyears in therapy to figure it out, but it’s who I am. I’m on the asexualityspectrum, and I’m firmly at the asexual end. That means sexual intercourse,orgasms, mutual nudity, they’re not part of my love language. I develop deepromantic feelings for people, men mostly. But those feelings don’t result in a desirefor physical contact beyond…tenderness, I guess.”

Roman cleared his throat. “Do you have deep romanticfeelings for Scott?”

“God, no. The only person who has deep romantic feelings forScott is Scott. He’s just right for the role.”

“Why wouldn’t your mom tell me any of this?”

“’Cause she doesn’t know how to sell it. When I told her,she said we could get more juice out of the story if I was lesbian or trans.Because what I am, according to her, is anabsence.Nobody will get it,and she won’t be able to get me any roles or press if everyone assumes I don’twant to fuckanyof my costars. Which is insanely insulting on manylevels, but that’s what the whole wedding’s about, sweetie.”

She gave him a second to process this.

“It’s kind of crazy that all the publicity machines aroundactors hinge on the fact that we never trust them to actually act, but that’show it goes, I guess. As soon as the play’s over, she wants to get me marriedas fast as possible so I can level up.”

“Doyouwant to level up?”

She sighed and opened her hands as if the answer wasobvious, even though the noises she was making made clear it was anything but.“I want to work for as long as I can on something other than direct tostreaming horror films. In this business, that means leveling up.”

“But when you were in town last, I heard you guys going atit like crazy.”

“No, Romy, you heardSexy Sorority Surprise.I wasin the bathroom reading with my earbuds. Scott was on the balcony taking selfies.”

“A porn film? Oh my God. Your balcony doors were open.That’s why it was so loud.”

“That was the point. You were supposed to hear it. Mom saysyou’re in the inner circle but you’re not in the innerinnercircle,so we had to make you think it was real.”

Roman needed a minute to think—a minute that might lastseveral months.

His best friend had a love language that didn’t include sex.A few days before, he would have had trouble wrapping his head around the idea.Then he’d woken up in Ethan’s arms and experienced what it was like to feelravished by a night of snuggling. Tenderness. Touch. These things could beseismic on their own. And for some people, people like Rachel, they could be asufficient culmination of their romantic feelings toward others. It didn’tdescribe him, but it made sense to him. It was the only thing in this momentthat made any sense.

“So,” Rachel finally said, “I know that’s a lot.”

“I packed. I figure this would blow everything up and I’dhave to move out.”

“Oh my God. I hate that you were that freaked out. Honestly,I was planning to tell you before the wedding. Promise.”

“It’s fine. I mean, you’ve been away and…”

“But what, honey?”

“I don’t like that they both thought I would do that toyou.”

“Well, that’s on Scott. He probably jumped the gun, and shewas trying to do damage control.”

“She made it sound like my job was on the line.”

He waited for her to tell him this wasn’t true. That he’dmisheard Diana, interpreted threats where there were none. Instead, Rachel wentstill and studied him, and the silence between them deepened.

“You should do it, babe,” she said brightly—suddenly—as ifthe idea had just occurred to her and the result would be no more consequentialthan a walk along the beach.

“Do what?”

She jumped to her feet, a clear sign of discomfort, then shepoured them both cups of coffee. “He’s kind of your type, right? Big andsomewhat older. Also, he’sbigbig. I’ve seen it. By accident. We’vehad to share a lot of rooms.”

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