Page 64 of Sapphire Storm

“Sure,” Donnie said, “we can call that jerking off.”

When the sun dipped below the horizon, Ethan noticed thestorm clouds far out to sea. “Rain?” he asked. “In Southern California? Is thatallowed?”

“It’s not supposed to blow in until the crack of dawn. Allright, boys.” Donnie returned to the helm chair and started the trawler’sengine. “Show’s over! I’ve gottaeat.”

A short while later, the boat was docked, and they’dgathered on the sun deck to watch Donnie grill tilapia and vegetable kabobs. Bythe time Roman had shared the whole sordid story of his history with the Peytonfamily, the sky overhead was dark and star flecked. For a long moment afterRoman stopped talking, Donnie just shook his head. “Hollywood people, man. WhenI was still escorting, I got hired by these Mormon boys who’d just smoked abunch of PCP for the first time. They were nothing compared to the moviestars.”

Ethan said, “I’ve been in touch with a lawyer friend ofmine. We’re going to figure out the trust thing.”

Roman sank down onto Ethan’s lap, curving an arm around hisback that sent gooseflesh up Ethan’s neck. “I thought your lawyer said I wasscrewed.”

“I emailed her again today.” Ethan slid a hand gently overRoman’s thigh. “Said we were going to get aggressive and come up with a newplan.”

“I can’t afford that,” he whispered.

“My treat,” Ethan said.

“All right, you two,” Donnie barked. “No bussy play on thesun deck, please.”

“God, Donnie. Really?” Ethan moaned.

“Oh, shut up, Blake. I swear, the damn lingo out there’smore complicated than ever. I mean, I hooked up with this guy a few weeks agowho was wearing high-top sneakers he spray-painted bright pink and attachedlittle Hermes wings to—you know, the kind who’s got a voice like a crossbetween Fran Drescher and an Ewok. Cute as hell, nice and open on the backside.Everything’s working, and he’s mewling like a kitten. So I think, all right,I’m going all in. I’m calling it a pussy. Suddenly he’s got a knife at mythroat and he’s threatening my family.”

Roman exploded with laughter.

“Did this really happen to you?” Ethan asked.

“Maybe not the knife part. But he did turn into, like, thathooded, venom-spitting thing fromJurassic Park. I thought he’d beinto it. I mean, shit, the whole term’s a metaphor. It’s not like systemicwomen have an actual cat down there.”

“Cisgendered, Donnie. Not systemic,” Ethan said.

Once Roman stopped laughing, he asked, “So, are you single?”

“Perpetually. But don’t worry. I’m no threat to you and yournew man here,” Donnie answered. “Blake and I tried that shit a long time ago.We’ve got the sexual chemistry of me and a Kardashian.”

They’d been enjoyable enough, their few post-Zach couplings.But he’d done them mostly to console Donnie, and eventually the guy figured outthat Ethan took to bottoming the way he’d once taken to P.E. classes, assomething to be endured with gritted teeth. But they’d been enjoyable in anarrow and specific way, a specific channel on the radio of human desire. Andhe’d tuned himself to many of those channels throughout his adult life. Sexthat raced like a fun adventure between friends. Sex that throbbed in theshadows of anonymity, where the players shifted by the minute and no names wereexchanged. Sex that swelled into an emotional, all-consuming symphony. Sex thatthundered with anger and animosity and frustration. And, of course, the low andonce constant drumbeat of sex as a professional obligation. But when he lookedat Roman now, he thought whatever they might do to each other’s bodies couldblow out the speakers and melt the radio.

Once he’d scooped the fish filets and kabobs onto paperplates he’d stacked next to the grill, Donnie gestured for them to take theirseats as he served.

“Who’s the Kardashian in that equation?” Ethan asked.

“You are, Khloe.”

Ethan looked for something to throw, but that would havemeant letting go of Roman, who was shaking his head as he said, “That’s not whyI asked about your love life, but okay.”

Once they were all seated around the table, Donnie said, “Idon’t really date, to be honest. I make…guest appearances.”

“What about the one who broke your heart?” Roman askedquietly. “What happened to him?”

A watery silence fell. Donnie sucked in a deep breath as hetucked the edge of his napkin into his jeans. “Nobody knows,” he finally said.“One day he just left us a bunch of good-bye notes and walked out. Weird notes,too. Buddhist shit or something.”

Ethan waited for Donnie to add the detail that he’d spent ayear trying to track the guy down, despite Ethan’s insistence that he shouldlet him go. Despite their mutual realization that when it came time to find outwhere Zach had gone, they both realized they only had scant—and mostlyunverifiable—details about where he’d come from in the first place.

Ethan still cursed himself for not reading the signs earlier.If he had it to do over again, he would have taken Donnie aside the first timehe saw the guy look at Zach with love in his eyes, would have explained to himthere were some things Zach Loudon would never be for anyone, and a trueboyfriend was one of them. Zach was a sexual chameleon who gave a littlesomething special to everyone, while being fully present for no one. But Ethanheld his tongue, and so when Zach vanished, Donnie had been devastated formonths.

Now Donnie jerked his head in Ethan’s direction and said,“Blake’s got a theory, though.”

As he absently cut a bite of fish, Roman turned hisattention to Ethan.

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