Page 115 of Sapphire Spring

Suddenly, Randy was sitting next to him, setting empty bloodtubes on the table between them. Naser didn’t protest as the studly nurse attachedone to a vein in Naser’s upturned forearm. “What are you testing me for?” Naserwhispered.

Randy shook his head. “Well, she saideverything,whichisn’t really a thing in our line of work, so I’m sort of winging it here.” He lookedNaser in the eye and dropped his voice. “Anything youdon’twant me totest for?”

Mahin opened the refrigerator and plopped several cans ofdiet soda onto the counter. “Marg bar aspartame, Naser-joon.”

“Sugar is worse, Mom.”

Mahin threw the diet soda cans into the trash withoutemptying them first, then she went for the cabinets and removed several boxesof crackers and cookies.

“How come I don’t have one of those Persian mothers who’salways trying to get me to eat rice?Insteadshe comesinto my house chanting death to artificial sweeteners,” Naser whispered. Randyshook with silent laughter.

“Randy is very attractive, no?” Mahin opened a box ofcrackers, popped one in her mouth, then tossed the box into the trash as shechewed.

“He is. Are you guys dating?” Naser asked.

“We are not. Because Randy is a gay.” Mahin announced thisas if it came with a cash prize.

“Notagay. Gay. Just gay. Do you work for mymother, Randy?”

Randy didn’t look up from the latest blood tube. “Notdirectly. I work at the hospital. Everyone there just does what your mothersays no matter what department we’re in. It’s easier that way.”

Naser understood perfectly. “I see. Is the goal here to takeallofmy blood?”

Mahin stood over him now. “I don’t know. You are clearly verysick, andthis is whyyou didn’t drive me to thedoctor yesterday.”

“I wasn’t sick. I was upset.”

“Okay. We’ll test your blood for things that upset peoplethen. Maybe we’ll find traces of me because according to your sister, I am avery upsetting mother.”

“Oh, dear. What did Pari say yesterday?”

Mahin took a seat at the table. “Oh, what does your sisternot say? Because at some point your sister says everything, especially if it isabout how other people are doing it wrong.”

“I wonder where she got that,” Naser whispered. “Randy,that’s enough blood, sweetie.”

“Got it.” Randy capped the last vial and laid it next to theother five.

“Randy, how would you like to do gay things with my son?”

“Mom!”

Randy gave her a sheepish smile. “I’m actually married, Mahin.”

“Towho? What does he do?”

“Well, um, totwowhosactually, and they both farm goats while I—”

“Okay, well marry Naser too and then you’ll have at leastone husband with a real job.”

“Mom, torokhodo,nakon.Koshtimano!”Sometimesaccusing his mother of murdering him with words was the only way to get thewoman to change subjects.

“What? Is this wrong too? I spent all of yesterday beingtold I am a terrible mother to my gay son, and so I brought the most attractivegay from the hospital to meet you and touch you. This is not supportive?”

“Yeah, nothing like getting five vials of blood taken for noreason to get me in the marrying mood.”

Randy sputtered with laughter.

“See? He is funny, Randy. You should add him to your marriageof many goats.”

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