Page 43 of Party of Three

“I’m not going anywhere except the business center, Cano. I promise.”

But he left without kissing either of them good-bye.

Even worse, he was back to calling Mateo by his last name.

As he watched Jeff leave, Mateo felt Buckley’s hand close around his. He brought it to his lips and kissed Buckley’s fingers, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the heavy door that had swung shut.

“How about a walk, babe?”

Mateo nodded.

The staircase that led to all the villa entry doors descended downhill toward a paved pathway with a stunning view south down the coast. It felt like one of the resort’s more secret spots. The folks who wandered the walkway’s main portion outside the hotel’s ballrooms probably assumed the pathway’s sudden sharp turn in front of the villas meant it was a space exclusively reserved for villa guests.

The two of them leaned against a ranch-style fence that looked solid and stylized, the kind of recreation-rustic you’d find in an amusement park. Beyond, ice plant formed a heavy pelt along the top of the bluff. The insides of its thick green leaveswere rose colored, like they were blushing at everything that had happened just uphill that weekend in villa 6E.

“A written agenda.” Buckley laughed under his breath. “Guess I should have seen that one coming.” Mateo smiled, but he was still rattled by how much his fear had taken control of him. Buckley curved an arm around him and pulled him close. “Well, should we get on the same page like he said?”

Mateo turned to him. “I’m not sure where to start.”

“Start with what scares you the most. I promise to walk through it with you. That’s my job.”

After a deep breath, Mateo said, “I really liked everything we did this weekend. No, that’s not true. Ilovedeverything we did. But I’m not sure I could have done it with anyone else. Anyone who wasn’t Jeff. And I’m worried that after everything we talked about that’s not going to be enough for you.”

Buckley smiled, seeming unfazed by Mateo’s deepest fear. “Those fantasies, the Vegas thing, the bachelor party, those aren’t things I really want to do. But you were right. They’re all about the same thing. You deciding who to share me with. You making me yours.”

“The bachelor party fantasy, though. That was different. That’s kinda about betrayal.”

“Well, if I asked you to do it, it wouldn’t be a betrayal, would it?”

Mateo couldn’t help but laugh. He held Buckley’s face in his hands as he gazed into his eyes. “For me, there’s a big difference between sharing you with Jeff and being inside another man who’s not you. I’m not sure I’m all that crazy about the second thing.”

Buckley smiled. “So my ass is one of a kind?”

“It is, but be serious,papi.”

Buckley looked up into his eyes. “If it’s not something you want to do, then it stops being a fantasy for me. And I have to sayI don’t mind being the only man you want to be inside of. But for me, being shared by you is about being owned by you. And that’s what I want more than anything.”

“And if I don’t want to share you with anyone other than Jeff?”

Buckley raised one eyebrow. “You realize you’re giving up the opportunity to rail some hot bottom in the middle of our bedroom while I watch?”

“I’d have to be in love with them, and you’d have to be falling for them, too. Because that’s what made this weekend work for me. I mean, that is what’s happening, right? You’re falling for each other. Hard. And I already love you both, so the sight of it, the way you two are with each other, it makes me…thrilled. I don’t know how else to describe it.”

Buckley’s eyes fluttered shut. He shook his head gently. “You don’t have to describe it. I can feel it. Last night, when the two of you were…”

That Buckley, who never had trouble using the frankest of sexual terms, had suddenly gone silent while describing one of their sessions, was a sign that he’d been transported by the memory of it.

“It was like I could feel what the two of you feel for each other moving through me. And it was… I thought I was going to die. But, like, a good death. A happy death.”

“Don’t the Italians call an orgasm the little death?”

Buckley caressed the side of his face. “That’s the French, but don’t worry. You’re cute.”

They listened to the surf for a while.

“So if we do this…” Mateo finally started, forcing himself to take another breath before he continued. “You would be okay if it was just the three of us. You, me, and Jeff. And no one else.”

“Beyond okay.”

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