Page 205 of Share with Me

Chapter Sixty-Four

Ivan’s hopeswent up a sixteenth note when he saw that Brinley wasn’t sitting next to Tristan at the Fire-Pit Service on Wednesday evening. Perhaps it was because she was over there surrounded by other women.

He was a bit alarmed when he saw Emmeline O’Hanlon in the group. Skye Langston, he wasn’t worried about, but Em? It could be bad if she and Brinley had talked about him—

Lighten up. Not everyone talks about you all the time.

To be sure, Ivan paid closer attention to Tristan Rao. He was chatting with some other church members now and wasn’t even looking in Brinley’s direction. Good news?

Ivan spotted some other church people in the crowd of twenty or thirty. Thin group tonight. According to Matt, some people were going to visit family for Easter this coming Sunday, so they didn’t expect many regulars to show up tonight if they had to finish up work before heading out of town for their long weekend.

The people in attendance tonight were scattered about in the church pavilion and on the beach with their beach chairs, waiting for the sun to set and the fire to rise from the fire-pit. He sure missed these outdoor services since he’d been on his self-imposed exile in Atlanta.

Good to be back. Or is it?

“What are you feeding off?” Pastor Gonzalez spoke without a microphone tonight.

That made Ivan straighten up on his thrift shop beach chair, one of his very few worldly possessions these days.

“Are you feeding off what people say or what God says? Are you feeding off my sermons or God’s Word?”

Pastor Gonzalez made his “I’m watching you” rounds with his eyes. He was strolling around the fire-pit, his voice lifting above the Atlantic waves some thirty feet away from where Ivan was sitting in a dark corner, where he had hoped to gather his thoughts before confronting Brinley later.

Inevitably, Pastor Gonzalez stopped in front of Ivan. Said nothing. Then moved on.

Thank God.

“I challenge you to study God’s Word for yourself, to discover the unfathomable riches in Christ that all of us believers are privy to. Don’t be a bottom feeder, eating crumbs off the table like dogs. Sit at the table with the Master, Jesus Christ Himself, and learn from Him.”

That’s me.

Ivan’s mind played back his entire bottom-feeding life, from being abandoned by his parents as a little kid to losing the McMillan family home to foreclosure to sustaining a career-ending wrist injury.

Yeah. Eating crumbs.

Pastor Gonzalez was standing on the other side of the blazing fire now. In the firelight, sparks rose up and danced in the coastal wind.

“Everything that has happened to me in the past is a stepping stone to my future,” he said. “I try not to underestimate the power of God over my own stupidity and failures. If you ask Olivia, she can tell you my horror stories.”

“A tell-all memoir is in the works,” Olivia quipped from her camp chair. She was surrounded by her stepdaughters. Her son, Lance, was somewhere in the vicinity. Ivan had seen him earlier.

Everyone laughed. Pastor Gonzalez went to his wife and held her hand. Ivan thought that was touching.

Wish I could hold Brin’s hand too. Like that.

“Ask yourself a simple question when you wake up every morning.” Pastor Gonzalez seemed to be wrapping up his sermonette. “Are you more spiritually mature today than yesterday? Than last week? Last month? Last year? A decade ago? I hope so. Grow spiritually in the Lord, and see what amazing things He’ll do for you, in you, and through you. That’s all I have for you tonight.”

Pastor Gonzalez closed with a short prayer for good fellowship the rest of the evening.

When Ivan opened his eyes, Matt Garnett and a couple of other Seaside Chapel church members were standing up with their guitars. They played a medley of quiet hymns, the music from their guitars interspersing with the crackling of the fire and the crashing of the ocean waves.

The hymns of old calmed his spirit and soothed his soul.

On the other side of the fire-pit, Brinley wasn’t talking with Skye and Emmeline anymore. She was just sitting there, a paper plate on her lap.

Here goes.

Ivan got up and went around the back of the circle toward Brinley. She didn’t seem to notice him because other people were walking about too. Somewhere in the undulating human voices, someone started to play guitar again.

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