Page 229 of Share with Me

Loser? Maybe that’s what I am.“I’m trying not to be one, sir.”

“Try harder. How do you think I’m where I am today? Hard work, son. Back-breaking hard work.”

“I thought you were born with it.”

Ned laughed. “Then you don’t know my dad. He made me work my way up before he gave me a dime.”

“I think I would’ve liked your dad.” Ivan’s fried cod came and the big platter provided a barrier between him and Ned across the table. He watched the server place two giant crab cakes in front of Ned. They looked better than his cod. They made his mouth water.

Coveting is a sin.He could hear Grandma Yun clearly in his head.

“Let me rephrase my question.” Ned cut up his crab cake. “You spent four years at Juilliard on a full violin scholarship. You spent two years touring with a crossover string ensemble.”

“Jade Strings.”Then Grandpa Otto dropped dead. Grandma Yun broke a hip.His concert violinist career ended.

“You spent six years teaching strings.” Ned chewed slowly, as if to give Ivan time to think. “Do you see a pattern there?”

“A pattern, sir?” Ivan wasn’t sure if he could enjoy the cod and think of patterns. Sure, there were patterns in music, but he couldn’t eat and do that either.

“Brin said you’ve been playing violin since you were four years old.”

“That’s correct.” Ivan wasn’t sure what Ned was getting at, but considering the seconds and minutes on the iPhone on the table, all things would be clear soon. He decided to keep eating and be done so he didn’t lose his appetite in case the news was bad.

Lord, don’t let me lose Brinley.

“Look, son. I’m trying to help you think through this.”

“I’m drawing a blank.”

“Hence your impasse. We need to remove the blockage so you can move on.”

Move on? As in—move on from what? From whom?

“What are you going to do when your wrist heals?” Ned asked.

“It may not completely heal.”

“Have faith, you idiot.” Ned chuckled.

Did he call me an idiot?

Ivan wondered if he should walk out. Then he realized that Ned was right. He had been an idiot. Many musicians were in worse situations than he had been and they had all survived.

Uh, name one.

“It’s just a broken wrist.” Ned wasn’t finished. “It’ll heal.”

“Could take a long time.”

“You’re defeated even before you begin.”

Ivan thought he had a good point there.

“Trust God, son. Don’t lean on your own abilities, understanding, and point of view. Trust God. Trust His wisdom, His sovereignty. Do you know Proverbs 3:5-6?”

Ivan’s fork stopped in midair. It was the verse that Brinley had given him at Christmas and that the Seaside Chapel Men’s Bible Study Group had discussed back in December before his accident.

“Pastor Gonzalez said that it would be good if I can memorize some verses,” Ned continued. “I carry this verse around with me. He might check up on me, you see, and I don’t want to fail the test.”

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