Page 141 of Sing with Me

Diehl looked down at his phone only to realize that the battery was out. He had forgotten to charge it all day long. So now he couldn’t look up the Bible verse that Pastor Gonzalez referred to.

At the back of the pew in front of him, there was a Bible. Or at least it said “Bible” on the cover. He was afraid to reach for it because he had no idea where 1 John was.

So he looked back at the pastor on the podium. Behind the pastor, two big screens displayed the Scripture passage in question. Good. He would have to read the screen to follow along.

“Light and darkness,” Pastor Gonzalez said. “I don’t know about you, but when I wake up at night and walk around in the dark, I am liable to stub my toes—or for you young people with kids, you might step on LEGO bricks.”

The congregation laughed.

Diehl did not recall stepping on LEGO blocks in his house. Elise and Ethan had a nanny who cleaned up after them, but they also had playrooms where toys never left.

He could not imagine a house with toys all over the floor.

“When you turn on the light at night, you can see just as well as in the day, but that light is artificial,” the pastor said. “I want you to think of the brightest sunlight you’ve ever been under. We get plenty of sunshine here in this beach town, but some days are hotter than others. The sunlight can be so bright we’d need to wear sunglasses and slather in sunblock, yes?”

Diehl felt movement next to his seat. He glanced over to see Ivan sitting down next to him. They nodded to each other. Ivan opened his Bible.

“We know that depending on the time of year, the sunlight might be weak or strong. Contrast that with God, who is always strong and never weak. God is the perfect light and ‘in Him is no darkness at all.’ Do you see that now? In God, there is one hundred percent light and zero percent darkness.”

Perfect God.

Diehl felt sorry that he never knew this God. To him, God hadn’t answered his prayers all these years when he pleaded for help with his marriage and with the kids. Even if God hadn’t gotten him into the mess in the first place, wouldn’t God help him out of it—because of His compassion?

Ivan was taking notes on the margins of a handout, seemingly unaware of the thoughts that roiled through Diehl’s mind.

“Friends, my question for you is this: are you with light or with darkness?” Pastor Gonzalez asked. “You might say, ‘Christians sin too. Does that mean we walk in darkness?’ Let’s read the next verse, 1 John 1:6. ‘If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.’ If you are a true believer, you consistently walk in the light of Christ. You’re not perpetually wandering around in darkness. Maybe you fall every now and then—so you ask God to forgive you and you get back on track—but it’s not a habit for you to walk in darkness. It’s not your lifestyle. Your lifestyle is one of light.”

Diehl had told anyone who asked that he was a Christian, but he would admit that it certainly hadn’t been his lifestyle to live as one. Wasn’t it enough to just believe once? He didn’t realize that he had to live the life too.

I still don’t know whether I believed Him in part or wholly back in college.

“Are you walking in the light of Christ?” Pastor Gonzalez asked again. “Here’s the test, Christian. 1 John 1:7 says, ‘But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.’ You know in your heart that Jesus Christ has forgiven you of all your sins. You also have sweet fellowship with other Christians. Not that it’s always smooth-sailing, but your friction is small and you’re on the same page.”

Same page.

Diehl had been sure there was a barrier between him and Skye. No, they were not on the same page.

The problem is me.

“Which side of the fence are you on?” Pastor Gonzalez picked up his Bible. “Are you standing in darkness, looking in at the light? Are you in the light, and know it in your heart? Or are you on the fence about Jesus? Don’t you want to be sure about the condition of your soul? Sitting on the fence can be painful.”

The congregation laughed.

Diehl did not.

“A real believer walks in the light. A non-believer walks in the dark. How do you know whether you’re a real believer or not?” Pastor Gonzalez turned a page in His Bible. “We get our answer in the next chapter. ‘He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.’ I John 2:3-5 says that your life is the test. If you know Jesus, you’re with Him in what you do. You do the things that glorify God and edify those around you. If you don’t know Him, you don’t care what the Bible says. And you live your life as you please.”

Diehl knew where he was and where he had been. He was in darkness, and Skye was in the light. It was finally as clear as day to him.

“If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you are walking in darkness. How do you transfer from the domain of darkness into God’s kingdom of light?” Pastor Gonzalez opened another page in his Bible. “Acts 16:31 says, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.’ That doesn’t mean everyone else will be saved just because you are. It means that when you are saved, your family will see your salvation, and perhaps for such a time as this, they too shall believe, and thus will be saved as well.”

Diehl thought of his kids. Would God keep Elisa safer if she believed in Jesus? Was Ethan old enough to believe in Jesus for the salvation of his soul?

What about me? Am I too old to be saved?

“Maybe you say, ‘Pastor, once upon a time I was saved and walked in the light. Now I am walking in darkness. What am I?’ To that, I would ask you a couple of questions. Were you truly saved in the first place? Have you accepted Jesus for real? If you’re not sure if you’re saved, then get saved now. It’s not too late. Admit to God that you’re a sinner. Ask Him to forgive you of your sins. Believe in Jesus Christ as your only Savior.”

Pastor Gonzalez looked around the sanctuary, as though he was searching for a lost sheep. “If you’re saved and still sinning, then get right with God. Repent. Confess. Ask God to forgive you, and He will take you back. 1 John 1:9 says, ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ Christians can sin too, but we get right back to God. We’re not sinning and sinning over and over again. Dear friends, which are you?”

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