Page 53 of Duke

“Oh yeah? Then he can try to stop me himself instead of sending you to be his spy and messenger. You think I didn’t notice you tailing me to school every day?”

He doesn’t flinch. “It was for your own protection.”

Ignoring him, I shove the front door open, run upstairs and open my closet. I grab my duffel bag and start packing. I feel his presence behind me, but I don’t turn around until I zip my bag closed. “Move.”

“I can’t do that.”

“I mean it, Meat. I’m not playing here. I need to go to LA and get answers, get closure.”

He stands in my doorway like a giant with his arms crossed over his chest. “I can’t let you go, Shanna.”

I know I’ll never get past him. He’s been a second father to me all these years; I couldn’t hurt him if I wanted to and he knows it.

“Why? Could you please treat me like an adult and just tell me what the hell is going on?”

He takes a deep breath, “It was a hit. Your mother was run-off the road. They did a good enough job of making it look like an accident, but word on the street says otherwise.”

My bag drops to the floor, my feet sway as I fall onto the bed behind me. “Why would anyone do that? She was out of this life—has been for a long time.”

“To send a message.”

“For who?”

He shrugs at the same time Duke finally returns my call.

“Babe? I heard.”

“Then you know I’m coming.”

“You can’t Shanna,” he warns.

“She was my mother.”

“Yeah,” he snorts, “mother of the year that one was.”

“I know she slept with your father.”

He’s silent for a moment, “They were all so screwed up… into heavy drugs, taking hits like it was candy. But what they did—doesn’t change what I feel for you.”

“You say that. But I don’t feel it. We’ve hardly spoken since you left two weeks ago.”

He sighs into the phone, “I know baby doll, and it’s killing me. I can’t get into it—but shit’s going down that I need you far away from.”

“She was my mother. I need answers.”

“I swear, I’ll get them for you. But you need to trust me.”

The faded bedspread twists in my hands, “I don’t know if I can. I believe that you’re being sincere. But I’m so sick of you—Meat and Pops, treating me like some helpless female when all I want is the truth.”

He sighs into the phone “Give me a few days. I need to handle the shit-storm that’s brewing. I swear to you—Shanna, I’ll make this right for you somehow. I’ll make sure she’s buried properly. But, I need you to stay there for now. You mean the world to me. You’re my angel. I’d slay a man with a million cuts, watching him bleed to death if anyone ever hurt you.”

But his words don’t reach me. I’ve gone numb. Just when I thought my world was finally making sense, it all fell apart. Hugging my knees to my chest, I cry alone in the dark, dreaming of the smell of frying pancakes and Saturday mornings until sleep finally takes me to a place without pain.

---