Page 60 of Duke

MY EYES ARE full of grit. I blink several times, but it doesn’t help. My room’s dark, the house silent. Hours have gone by.

It’s after midnight.

I spent the past few days just going through the motions. School. Home. They even took the bar away from me. Meat said it wasn’t safe for me to work as long as the MC is having a civil war. I’m practically driven to school in an armored truck. I feel like I’m back in high school with a fleet of biker bodyguards and a curfew.

But what sucks the most is still feeling completely gutted. I need him.

I’ve had some time to process what he said. Duke’s a man of principal. I can’t blame him for stepping up and doing the right thing. I just wish that didn’t mean tying his life back to the club I’m trying to get a life away from.

But my life would be dimmer without him as my man. I need to tell him I didn’t mean what I said.

I will wait.

I’ll wait as long as he needs me to.

Grabbing my phone, I call him again. Like a lovesick teen. But I can’t help myself. I need my fix.

“Lo?” He says fast. His voice is gruff and clipped.

“Duke?”

“I’m busy here, Shanna.”

He’s panting and out of breath.

“Duke?” I hear a woman call out.

“W-who is that?”

“Nobody. I know you’re hurting angel. But I need you to stay away, shit’s getting ugly. I’ll call you,” he says gruffly disconnecting.

I’m so hurt, I can’t breathe. I fall back onto the bed clutching my sides, breathing in deeply but still not getting air. The moan that comes from deep within, rips a part of my soul off as it comes from my body.

Minutes tick by, I’m immobile, gripped in pain and agony with no one to take it away. He’s fooled me again. I believed him when he told me his feelings were real; not something I conjured up in my head, but wow did he just completely blow me off.

My phone buzzes in my hand causing my heart to stir hopefully.

But it’s not him.

“H-hello?” I croak.

“Where you at girl? You promised to come to my party the other night and never showed.”

My throat thickens, my eyes fill, “My mother was killed.”

“Oh shit. I’m sorry. You at home?”

“Yeah… why?”

“I’m coming over.”

“N-no Spence… you don’t have to.” But he already hung up.

He’s a good friend, and for a moment there was a chance he could’ve been more. But the fact that he’s here, available to comfort me when the man who stole my heart isn’t—is not lost on me. I get out of bed on shaky legs stumbling into the bathroom.

I turn the jets on blindly, as hot as can be without burning my skin. The water runs over me, but I still feel cold inside. Doubt creeps in minute by minute.

How well do I know Duke?

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