Page 62 of Duke

I wait for guilt to come.

But it doesn’t.

Spence made me feel good; incredible even.

He’s here.

I can touch him, taste him. He’s not a memory haunting my dreams only to leave me wet, aching and alone when morning comes.

I hear my shower turn on and with a grin—I bound out of bed slinking into the bathroom.

He turns around with one eyebrow raised, “I don’t have that much self-control.”

“Relax… this is going to be about you. Only you,” I whisper kneeling and taking him into my mouth.

A shudder runs through his body; his eyes close, his lips part. I’ve never felt more powerful. Knowing my touch is doing this to him. I eagerly stroke him with my mouth until he comes, groaning my name as his hot come drips from my mouth.

“Shanna?”

“What?”

He looks down at me still at his feet as the water pours over us both, “Be my girl? Just mine?”

“Yes,” I whisper. And just like that, I pledge myself to another man as quickly as I did the first. But this time, I don’t feel like I’m falling off the edge of a cliff. As Spence reaches down offering me his hand; I feel like he’s pulling me up from under the ocean. He’s saving me from drowning in the cold water alone.

He holds me tight until the water turns cold. As I cry softly against his shoulder, I tell myself the tears are for my mother, not Duke.

I let him towel dry me before taking me back to bed. He holds me close, falling asleep in an instant while my eyes stare out the window wishing another man’s arms were holding me tight.

“Are you ready?”

I slowly nod my head. My hand is gripped firmly in his as we cross the hot, asphalt lot entering the small funeral parlor. Every direct order comes through Meat and apparently, they deemed it safe enough to allow me to come to LA to say goodbye to my mother.

It’s been three months.

I have no idea what to do with her ashes. The last time I saw her, she kissed the top of my head and told me “good night.” I never could have imagined this moment. Or think Spence would be the one to help me through it. I haven’t spoken to Duke since he became the new king. His silence tells me I made the right decision the night I let Spence into my bedroom.

He’s been here for me. I’ve never been in a relationship. What Duke and I had was nothing but smoke and mirrors. Spence is the one who sees me every day. He stepped up when I needed a champion, explained to my professor’s what’s been going on and even let me stay at his parent’s house in Beverly Hills, so I wouldn’t feel alone here.

He hasn’t push me to go all the way yet, but he’s managed to make me come by doing everything else but pop my cherry. He’s a real gentleman.

“Give me a minute?”

“Sure. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

I reach up to press a kiss on his cheek, “Thanks.”

I round the corner, stopping short. Fifty large, burly men sit in tribute. They turn, standing when I’m spotted. Meat helps Pops up. I’m confused. Mom left years ago, and yet all these men are here, like she was family.

Like, I’m still family.

I was hoping for a minute alone to collect myself and say what I needed to her in private.

“Shanna?”

I tremble hearing him speak my name. I can’t turn around—can’t face him. I’m still stewing in anger and regret. He pledged the world to me and I believed him. But then he left, giving me only sweet promises of a tomorrow that never came.

The heat of his body is at my back. From the corner of my eye, I watch his hand come out to touch me but he drops it instead.

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