Page 31 of UnScripted

NOTHING MAKES SHIT CLEARER than sitting on an old log, sippin’ a beer and staring into the flames of a campfire.

“What’s eatin’ at ya’?”

I shrug, not meeting his gaze. How do you explain the ball of wadded up shit rumbling around inside of you—tangled up in knots of memories and emotions. Choking your heart, fuckin’ with your head, and squeezing all the air out of your lungs?

“Take a walk with me.”

Reluctantly, I stand and follow Smith out the back door of the Canada chapter of Creed’s clubhouse. Shit went better than expected but I still have my back up and eyes open.

We both nod at the men drinking by the fire and keep walking to the edge of the woods where no one can hear us. He takes out a cigarette offering me one. I shake my head and watch in envy as he cups his hands around his mouth lighting it.

“You haven’t been right in weeks.”

“I know,” I sigh, hands fisted in the pockets of my jeans, I throw my head back looking up at the night sky. “I haven’t been right since Colin died. I miss that fucker so goddamn much. He really was a brother to me.”

“I know,” he clasps my shoulder with one palm, “that shit’s gonna take time.”

“His death’s fucked me up more than I thought. I mean… it felt like a sucker punch, I won’t lie. Sometimes I look up realizing I drove myself to his house; checking on him was such a routine for me. My truck idles in the driveway and I stare at the house that holds so many memories. But the fucked-up part? It was never my life—it was his.”

“What are you getting at?”

“It was his house, his wife, his daughter—”

“Damn, Rog. If you wanted a life like that for yourself, you could’ve had it. Hell, you still can.”

“I don’t know. I’m set in my ways now. I’ve got the club, my bar… finding someone now—seems like it would only mess me up more.”

“What about Devon? I think you should see where that goes… ”

“Yeah, I know where that’ll go, straight to my damn bed till she can’t walk straight,” I mutter.

“What’s wrong with that? Sounds like a solid plan to me.”

I rub the back of my neck with one hand, kick the dirt and look up. “What the fuck? Why is everyone getting in my face about her. Since when has the club become a friggin’ Oprah episode?”

“Jesus, calm down Rog. I care about you, brother. I know Colin’s death hit you hard. Take some time off if you need to. Federico can run Sassy’s.”

“No. I can’t. Time off is the last thing I need. Along with an empty house with nothing but memories and ghosts for company? No,” I shake my head feeling my chest tighten I can’t breathe. I’m choking on all the emotions I keep stuffing deep inside.

“Dammit Rog, all I’m sayin’ is that you’ve spent the last twenty years taking care of everyone but yourself. Shanna’s all grown and has Duke now. Colin’s gone. His pain and suffering—over. Snatch that girl up quick before someone else does.”

Images of Devon fill my head. How it could be—us, tangled up in my oversized king bed, making love all night, then again in the morning while the snow falls softly on my cabin. I’d keep her warm, tucked to my body as I’d cherish her, taking her again and again, till we fall back asleep. I’d wake up make coffee and we’d snuggle back in bed.

Christ.

Is Smith right? Could I be lucky enough to find something good at this stage of my life? I spent so many years loving people who weren’t mine, I’ve forgotten what’s it’s like to have someone for myself.

My lips twitch. Under Devon’s smooth skin is a girl with fire in her blood. Hell, we’ve been dancing around our mutual attraction for weeks. The two of us are a keg full of gunpowder ready to explode. And damn, I could use some heat.

My balls are full and aching. I moan, feeling it rumble around my chest. Once I touch the girl, there’s no going back. In my gut, I know she’d feel so fine, I’d never let her go. Or let another man touch her.

Maybe it’s time I take an old lady after all.

The question is: Does Dev have what it takes to be my bride?

Hells yeah, she does. That girl has more spunk than both pledges combined. But we’ll take it slow. I crave something solid, something I could build years on. It ain’t gonna work if she’s only here temporarily. I just need to make her fall in love with Springdale, and the old badger who will never leave.

---