Page 3 of Enraptured

I loved her.

Loved them both.

My mother and my dove.

But the pain is so intense, all I want to do is flip the switch off and sit in the dark. My fist is cocked, ready to take all my frustration out on Dimitri, when Alex grabs it.

“I’ll tell you where she is, if you do me a favor and fuck my wife for me tomorrow night.”

My head snaps back. I drop my fist. My cigar tucks to the side of my mouth as I turn and grab Alex by the front of his shirt lifting him two inches off the ground.

“Where is she?”

“Christ, I don’t know. I was just fucking with you.”

I throw him to the ground. “You’re like a brother to me, Alex. But, don’t fuck with me when it comes to her.”

“Maybe, you shouldn’t have pushed her so far. Fuck—making her watch you fuck Fiona was even hard for me to watch.”

“That’s because you’re bloody gay. I saw you looking at my dick.”

“Fuck off. I’m not gay; I just enjoy a little anal play. What’s wrong with that?”

Dimitri and I both rolled our eyes.

“It’s time to make the toast. Let’s go.” I mutter.

Alex puts a hand on my shoulder. “Turn it off. If it hurts that badly—stop putting yourself through the pain. I envy you. You can control when you feel and when you don’t now. Take the pills or don’t. Be a light switch.”

“It’s not the simple,” I mutter. “It takes a few weeks to kick in. Even if I stopped tonight—it would take weeks for the drugs to turn the lights off. The medication has a long half-life and stays in my system.”

“Here. Take this then.” Alex sticks his hand into the inside pocket of his sport coat pulling out a blunt this time.

I push his hand away, stalking forward. I’m not weak like he is. I won’t take drugs to take the edge off my pain. But he is right. I don’t have to feel. Maybe forgetting what love feels like is just what I need right now.

“Go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

Dimitri and Alex pause as I stall at the edge of the shadows. “I don’t like the look on your face right now.”

I grinned, shrugged my shoulders and inhaled the smoke from my Cuban. My hand held the bottle of pills that was both my salvation and my curse.

I pulled it from my pocket and walked to the edge of the cliff. The Aegean was still. Waiting. Taunting me to do it. Watching to see if I had the stones to do it.

“Don’t,” Dimitri warned.

“Do it,” Alex breathed.

The bottle flew in the air, disappearing into the abyss below.

Good riddance.

I’ve survived thirty-five years without love, pain, anger and all the bullshit emotions that ruin people’s lives.

“Come on, you wankers. I have a speech to make.” I swagger past the two of them, both shocked at what I just did, but for different reasons.

Despite my pain—I feel stronger than I had in weeks.

El Diablowas back.

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