Page 34 of Enraptured

I’VE STAYED IN BED for days losing track of time. Mrs. Fitz comes in making sure I stay clean. I’m numb as she cleans me as methodical as I imagine one would change a diaper. I’d yank the piercing out—but I can’t even bring myself to touch it. He came last night. But I didn’t even feign sleep as he stripped, letting his hard, heavyand leaking tip nudge between my cheeks. He didn’t take me. I laid still. Indifferent to his hands and lips as he tried to use the only thing he has to try to reach me.

The tip of him hit my diamond dove. It hurt. Then fireworks blasted through me as he reached around lightly flicking the stud with a finger. But I turned my head into the pillow refusing to let it be anything than it is: a forced physical response.

He gave up.

Frustrated, he slammed the door.

And I silently cried.

Every touch, every kiss, is a sharp cut.

But I'm not who I was.

I'm a broken doll.

A shell.

And it's even in his dark eyes...the knowledge that I might not be his muse anymore.

And that hurts more than everything he has done to me.

Unable to sleep, I throw off the covers walking to the closet. I pull on a heavy pair of wool socks that I stole from the laundry in the barn. I hiss as I zip up my jeans. The damn clit piercing is a burst of painful pleasure every time I move. The seam of my jeans rubs against it. I want to melt to the floor and make myself come. But I don’t. Instead, I pull on a thick cable-knit sweater, my barn boots and slip from the room.

It’s late. No one’s around to see me pass through the shadows as I slink down the back stairs and outside. I jog to the barn. Grab Simone’s bridle and saddle. I haven’t ridden since he came back. He steals happiness wherever I find it and it’s about time I take some back.

She knickers softly as I enter her stall. I place everything on her just as Will showed me, then lead her to out of the barn, place a foot in the stirrup and swing myself up into the saddle. I swing her around toward the open fields. Crouching low against her neck, I whisper, “Run! Set us both free tonight!” I dig my heels in, grab her mane as she lets her legs fly.

But every smooth stride of her gallop, sends tingles from my clit, up my spine and back down to the walls of my womb.

Him and that fucking dove piercing. He knew. He knew how much I loved learning to ride and made sure I wouldn’t forget his sweet torment as I do it.

I bit my lip hard, tasting my own blood as I fight the climax tearing threw me. My cry is swallowed by the wind as Simone races against the night.

Somehow the night closes in. The air gets heavier. A light rain starts to fall. My hands turn white as I hold her mane to keep myself balanced. Lightening streaks across the sky, I cry as thunder cracks and Simone veers off course heading for the tree line. I bend lower over her back as branches hit my body. The frightened horse keeps going. I’m not a strong enough rider to stop her. All I can do cling to her back. My arms circle her neck in an effort to stay on. She takes me deeper inside the maze of trees, jumping fallen logs, her strong hooves splashing through rocky streams. Lightning strikes a tree nearby and this time even my best efforts to stay seated can’t fight gravity as Simone hits the breaks. I fly over her head, my head hits something hard as I tumble down into a small ravine landing in a cold stream.

Rain pours over me. She knickers from somewhere nearby. Apologizing. Every part of my body screams in pain. I’m afraid to move. I gave a good fight. I tried. But in the end maybe this is how I finally get free.

I fade in and out. But I’ve been here before; trapped between planes of consciousness, unsure what is reality and what is part of a half-lucid dream. I must’ve hit my head pretty damn hard. Through the mist and heavy fog, a heavily coated pony walks through the creek. His hot breath lands against my cheek as he neighs, nudging me. Answering neighs are nearby, more splashing hoofs over rocks has me trying to turn my head. But the sharp pain that shoots through me stops me from moving further. I gasp as more wild ponies come closer. They surround me in a circle keeping me warm. And then I realize they’re protecting me as the sound of howling wolves sound in the distance.

“Thank you, my friends.” I reach out trying to pet the dark one who won’t leave my side. My legs are numb, no doubt from frostbite. I should try to get out of this creek, but I can’t move. Rain continues to fall steadily. I can’t fight the pain radiating through me. My head pounds as I lose the battle falling back into the darkness. The only thought that gives me peace is knowing my parents already grieved. The world already thinks Jessie Montgomery is gone. But what they’ll never know is she was gone many months ago… she was lost the minute the dark man landing the helicopter locked eyes with her.

I fade in and out. I’m lucid but floating away into the night. My mind’s separated from my body. Somehow protecting me from the pain. The storm must’ve passed when I was unconscious. Stars wink at me through the break in the clouds.

I try to lift my hand…wishing I could just float up and become one. He might’ve taken everything from me but if I do get there—I’ll shine bright.

“Ring around the rosy… pockets full of posy. Ashes… ashes... we all fall down.” I hum the rest under my breath, eyes never leaving the sky. A shooting star jumps through the milky way. I smile, falling back into the dark.

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