Page 46 of Enraptured

“CHRISTOS?” I REACH FOR HIM, but he rolls away giving me his back. He’s been working nonstop since we got back from Alex’s house. My lips press against the bunched muscles in his back. “What’s wrong? Have I done something?” My voice cracks. He hasn’t touched me since he took me in the dungeon four days ago.

He picks up my hand at his waist bringing it to his lips. But doesn’t turn to look at me. “Noagápe. You can’t get pregnant. I’ve made an appointment for you to see a doctor. I lost my head…wanted to show Dimitri you were mine. If you already are then our fate is sealed.”

“Would you be upset, if I was?”

He shrugs, still staring at the wall. “I’m not sure how I’d feel. I’m changing into a new person. But I’m not there yet. I’m still learning how to process my feelings, Jessie.”

“I-I understand. I’m sorry for taking it out. I wasn’t thinking.” I hug him close. Spooning him. Holding him close. It’s not lost on me that I’m the one holding him tight; afraid he’s slipping from my grasp.

“I love you.”

He inhales sharply, finally turning over to face me. “I’ll love you forever,agápe mou.”

He smiles wickedly, head diving under the covers. I gasp feeling his mouth on me.

Christos is a masterful lover finding ways to pleasure a woman a million men would never think of. We kiss and touch each other, both coming apart again and again without full penetration. Finally, with our bodies coated with sweat and when the burning logs have cooled to nothing but hot ash, we fall asleep with our limbs entwined like vines. I sigh deeply. He’s still mine. I still hold the devil’s heart.

He’s gone when I awake. Snow falls softly outside. I wrap the comforter around me and walk to the windows. For a second, I think of my parents feeling a stab of pain. Christmas in California is lit up palm trees. I’ve never really played in snow or built a snow man. Maybe I’ll do both today.

After taking a hot shower and blow drying my hair. I dress in worn in jeans and a thick sweater, bypassing all the designer clothes I know he wishes I’d wear. As much as I’ve changed I still prefer comfort over fashion.

My nose presses to the glass. I’m a child staring at everything with wonder. I’m living inside a snow globe. Living at Exmoor during Christmastime is magical. Experiencing it with Christos is every holiday wish in the world come true.

We’re both experiencing it for the first time together. Even Mrs. Fitz felt the spirit of Christmas as I made sure every inch of the house is decorated with fresh garland and holly. Christos and I hand made a few ornaments to hang on our tree and I suggested we invite the autistic school back for a Santa and caroling party. Excited to get out in the snow, I hurry to Christos’ office. But he’s not there. Disappointed, I go to the kitchen.

“Where’s Christos?”

“He went out. He asked me to tell you that he’ll be home for dinner.” My face falls as I help myself to coffee.

“Missing him? How the tides have changed.” She clucks, taking fresh biscuits from the oven. My face heats. She’s been more tolerable since my accident, but we still rub each other the wrong way most of the time.

“When are you going to Switzerland?”

“In two days.” She turns, actually glowing. Making her actually seem half-way pretty. I’m happy for her.

“So, Christos and I will be alone for Christmas. I know we…aren’t really friends, but I need your help.”

She sets the hot tray down eyeing me suspiciously. “No…we aren’t friends. But I never wished you harm. I hope you know that. My sins are between myself and God. And I have a lot that I need to atone for.”

Ignoring her round about way of asking me for forgiveness I pluck a biscuit from the cooling rack. “I want to get Christos some Christmas presents but I don’t have any money or access to the internet.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“A really nice leather-bound journal for one. I think it will be good for him to write everything down. Help him express all his feelings. And a new telescope. A state of the art one. And a few pairs of jeans. I’ve never seen him in anything but suits and dress slacks.”

“Except for the time he rescued you.”

“That doesn’t count. I hardly remember much until we reached the cabin. He was naked most of the time there.”

Her face heats. “You’re so American.”

“What does that mean?” I ask stuffing a piece of flaky bread into my mouth.

“It means it’s improper to discuss such things.”

“Oh? But it’s okay to be an accomplice in what he’s done?”

“I had my reasons. Things worked out though, didn’t they?”

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