Page 30 of Entwined

WITH MY SUITCASE ROLLING behind me I walk through Heathrow weaving through people milling about, some frantically trying to catch their flight, and others hugging loved ones as they come home.

No one is here to greet me with a warm hug. But it feels as though I’ve come home instead of left mine. I climb into a cab asking to be dropped off at the dorms of King’s College. It’s in Central London. In the heart of everything.

“Miss? Miss… we’re here.”

I was so busy staring at the city, I tuned everything else out. Last time I was here I was in a fog and many things passed me by. I won’t let that happen again.

“Thank you.” I exit the cab, give him a tip and stare up at the dorms in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I grab the handle of my suitcase, pick up my backpack and walk forward. The door’s unlocked. I enter a small hallway. It’s silent. Empty. There’s no one about even though it’s mid-morning. I wander further in, past a laundry room, mail room and small study area. “Hello? Is anyone here?”

I reach into the pocket of my coat for the name of my dorm and the room number I’ve been assigned.

“Everyone’s still on break. Classes don’t start until next week.”

“I know. I came early. I’m Jessie. Jessie Montgomery. I’m looking for my dorm, Thorn Hall?”

“It’s the third one down. This is Briar Hall. I’m the Mrs. Yates. I manage the cleaning staff. You’ll need a pass key to get into your dorm and a key for your room. What room did you get?”

“403.”

“Oh. Oh Dear.”

My eyebrow lifts. “Did I get the bum room?”

“No, just be careful Miss. You’re new here. Some of these girls can be quite cruel, especially if you don’t come from a certain class, have a title or money.”

“I’m not worried about any of that.” I wave my hand, “I’m from California, not far from where they film The Real Housewives. And I’ve been through things… a few mean girls won’t scare me away.”

“There’s a few cliques here. The mean girls and the lost girls.”

“Well, I might fit in with the second group.”

She clucks her tongue, “I certainly hope not. They are into heavy drugs, drinking and sleeping with everyone. Gretchen is horrid. Lock up anything precious and hide your money. Follow me to my office, I’ll get you a key.”

“Who’s Gretchen?”

“Why, your roommate in 403.”

“Great,” I mutter, following her. But I’m not afraid. I survived drug induced sex parties on the Oasis and beingEL Diablo’scaptive. Surviving living with a party girl will be nothing. The question is: Will she survive me? I’m determined not to take anyone’s shit. I’m slowly remembering who I was… being with Christos has made me stronger than I ever was.

Although, I didn’t realize it until I finished restoring Fixer Upper.Every piece of that boat that I repaired by hand helped repair a broken part of myself. Every day both the boat and I got stronger. I didn’t need stress medication or a therapist. My therapy was the sea, the tools in my hand, and making something forgotten—shine again.

I still think about him. Of course, I do. But for the first time in months, I’m putting myself first—not him. It’s what I need to do to move forward. Afterall, he’s made sure there’s no going back.

He consumes me.

Every waking moment. I can’t escape him. He’s everywhere. When I’m not awake, he follows me into my dreams.

I still don’t know if my love for him was real or a fabrication of my imprisonment. But I know I’ll always be his captive in one way or another. What we had—the things we did—are too powerful to just fade away.

I wish I could say I’m strong enough to let all of it go. But I’m not there yet. It’s still only been a few months. I still search for him on the web, looking for any news of him. But there’s none. It’s like he just disappeared.

“Here we are.” She unlocks a drawer taking out a keycard and a set of regular keys. “The swipe card will get you into your dorm, the dining hall, and the student union. These are your room and mail keys.” She drops them into my hand. “Good luck, dearie. You’re going to need it. But we’re full. You got placed in the last available dorm space we have. Gretchen’s a Sophomore. No one’s lasted a semester with her yet.”

How bad can this bitch be?I wonder as I thank the woman and wheel my way back outside towards my building.

It’s almost spring. But spring in California is probably warmer than summer here. I wrap my scarf tighter around me with one hand buried in the pocket of the coat Christos bought for me before we left Exmoor. I can’t wait to text Will to tell him I’m living in London now.

I swipe my keycard entering my dorm. It’s quiet. Clean. Sterile. I find an elevator and hit four. When I get out, I wheel my way down the hall to the corner room and take a deep breath.

---