“To get him back, of course. That is what you want?” She gets into the shower.
“I want him to want me more than he ever did. But this time I want him to be the one kneeling—begging at my feet for any scrap of me. I want to stare down at him and decide if he’s worthy of one more second of my time. For once, I want to be the one holding all the power.”
“Good girl. You better still be here when I get out. Winners don’t run.”
“I’ll be here.” I smile. “Thanks, Jecca. I couldn’t have asked for a better first best friend than you.”
“I know sweetie. Now shut the shower door. I’m bloody freezing.”
I turn grabbing her a fresh towel and robe and putting them on a hook within easy reach. Then I dial the kitchen staff downstairs. I need a strong cup of French-pressed coffee and a plan. The first is finding another job. My hours at the barn are good but I don’t make enough to keep paying rent. While Jecca showers, I scroll through the job section of the local paper back in London. Hmm… there’s a waitressing/bartending job at pub not far from campus, McGee’s. It’s self-described as a family friendly Irish Pub that serves the best “Bangers and Chips,” in London. I call and leave a message hoping they phone back.
“Stop checking your phone. He isn’t going to call.” Jecca’s phone has been glued to her palm ever since that night in Paris weeks ago, but of course Phillip hasn’t contacted her since. “You’re just like I was.”
She turns from the window where she was watching the autumn rain streak down the glass. “Will you tell me? Finally tell me everything that happened between you and Christos.”
I bite my lip, “Promise me… swear to me, it stays in this room?”
“I swear it.”
I inhale sitting down on the couch across from her. “Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, instead of a little over a year. I was looking for something different. I was searching for something that kept eluding me. So, I dropped out of college to work as a deckhand on the Med. I had no idea the yacht I was hired to work on belonged to Christos. He arranged it all. He had me in his sights before I knew he even existed.”
She interrupts, “How romantic.”
“Romance had nothing to do with it. It was obsession. The sex was raw, intimately dirty… but I craved it. I wanted—needed more.”
“That’s how it was with me and Phillip; the sex part.”
“I know. That’s why you need to stop day dreaming he’s some perfect lover about to ring the bell and ask you to dinner and movie. It’s just sex Jecca. Dirty, all consuming, ravenous sex. You had it for one night, let it go.”
“Why should I?”
“Because you’ll get addicted and if that happens—you won’t want sex any other way or with anyone else.”
“Is that why you won’t go out with Ben?”
“Yes. I-I can’t. He deserves a woman better than me. A woman who isn’t damaged by her past.”
“He ruined you, hasn’t he?”
“He has. I thought I could get over him. I was enraged when I saw him all over the press shining like all the light in the world is pouring through his soul. I wanted that for me…. Wanted him to be that man for me. When we were together, he was dark. He wasEl Diablo… he chained me naked in a ship’s hold, kidnapped me, pierced my clit—”
“Hold. Hold on,” she raises her palm. “Can I see?”
“No. No way.”
“I don’t believe you then.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“I disagree. I’m curious.”
I lower my yoga pants revealing my lace thong then, slip the thin fabric to the side.
“Bloody hell! He did! Did it hurt?”
“Like a bitch. He had me restrained. It was against my will. He called me his “dove” I was a pet to him at first. I-I thought we fell in love. But after all our time together I woke up on Boxing Day alone in our bed with nothing but a note, an envelope of cash and a wrecked heart.”
“That wanker!”