Page 8 of Undone

I threw her skank-ass out by her hair, opened the second-floor window, and dumped her shit on the lawn. After I changed the locks, I got piss drunk for three days. I was a young soldier clinging to the idea of the girl back home. I’ll admit—thoughts of Mandy got me through many long nights—nights when I thought I’d never see the sun rise again.

“Prez?”

Will, one of the most trusted of our members walked out, letting the door bang shut behind him. He handed me another beer and tipped his bottle to mine as I took it from him.

“What’s up?” I asked, taking a long pull.

“You gonna join the party? More than a few of the ladies are askin’.”

“Since when have I ever dipped my dick in a club girl?”

“Doesn’t stop ‘em from hoping.”

“Is everything all set for tomorrow?”

“Yup. Everyone’s geared up and ready to ride to Oregon for the weekend.”

“I hope so. I need the long ride to clear my head. Now, I know why you never wanted this,” I pointed to the PREZ patch on my leather cut.

“Damn straight, I didn’t. I’m more comfortable where I’m at.” Putting down his beer, he took out a pack of Marlboro Reds, tapped one out, cupped his hand to his mouth and lit it with a match he ran across the heel of his boot.

Will’s a tough motherfucker. “How long have you been smoking those death sticks?”

“Since before you were born. They haven’t killed me yet.”

“Well, that’s a friggin’ miracle since you’re old as shit.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but you’re the one acting like the old man here. Not me. When’s the last time you got shitfaced and screwed a woman?”

Taking another long sip of my ice-cold beer I shrugged, looking away. It’s not that I carry a torch for anyone or still feel the kick to my gut anytime I remember Mandy. I’ve just been focused on the MC and taking care of my ailing mother. She’s just as stubborn as me. Fell twice this past week but refuses to leave her home or let me hire help. The thought of anything happening to her makes me feel sick to my stomach. She’s all I have left.

“Don’t drink too much. I need your eyes in the clubhouse. I don’t want any shit to ruin the weekend. Call me if anything comes up. We should be back late Monday. Check on my Ma while you’re at it, too.”

“You goin’ to your Ma’s now?”

I nodded my head, standing. “You’re a better man than me. I’d be balls deep in any one of those girls inside, but they all want you, or Duke. And we both know he won’t even look at anyone but his lady.”

“Shanna would rip his balls off if he did. She’s not one to mess with.”

“No, she ain’t.”

Clapping him on the back as I walked past, I paused at the door taking the scene in. On Friday nights, our clubhouse turns into a private bar. The men trickle in after they get off work, some even bringing wives and kids. Music competes with booming voices. I used to hang till morning, often crashing in a back room. The full house temporarily made me forget my own loneliness. Until one by one, each of my friends started taking girlfriends, making some wives; popping out babies while I go to bed alone—waking up the same way.

Maybe Mandy did break something in me.

I’ve never been a tender lover.

I like to dominate—do things my way, there’s no whispering tender words with slow bucking hips when I’m in bed. Hell, after getting consent out of the way—no words either, but I haven’t let a woman touch one piece of my heart in over a decade. And I see no reason to start now…except the blank walls of loneliness closing in on me with ever year that passes.

Hell, after watching Rog fall for Dev these past few weeks, I started yearning for things I haven’t had since Mandy. Hanging my head, I walked out of the shadows by the back door I had just come through.

“There you are, babe. Wanna play?” Amber, one of the club girls, cocked a hip out trying to be seductive with an extra pool stick in her hands.

“Not tonight, sweetheart.”

“You say that every time,” she pouted.

Shrugging, I moved past her only to get stopped by two sets of different hands trailing fake nails up both my forearms. I’ve been so busy managing the men, I took my eye of how many skanks they were letting in.

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