Page 4 of Unwrapped

“I’m sorry, Darren. You need to stay there.”

“No!” I punched the wall.

“Did you get the Christmas present I left for you?”

“No?”

“I left you a card and twenty bucks.”

My fists clenched. Ma uses it on cheap wine. I was sure of it and I knew Gran knew that’s what happened too.

The front door banged open. “You-whooo you here, boy?”

“Jim’s here, Gran. I’m scared. He hates me.”

“Just go to your room and lock the door. He’s just a mean drunk.”

But he’s drunk all the time I had thought. I dropped the phone as he rounded the corner. “Where’s Ma?”

“Out looking for you, you little shit. Where ya’ been.”

“At a friend’s. I left Ma a note,” I shrugged.

He started unlooping his leather belt as he stalked forward. I gulped. Christmas was over…

I wake, covered in sweat. Blinking I look around. I’m not back in Springdale and I’m not eight. The cuts from Jim’s belt healed a long time ago but sometimes like tonight, they still bleed.

“Fuck,” I whisper in the dark. Getting out of bed, I move to the bank of windows across the room. Lights from the city below shine up through the ice and now. Christmas lights twinkle from light poles below.

I left that nightmare a long time ago and yet it still find me.

“Dare? Come back to bed?”

I half turn as my girlfriend poses seductively, letting the straps of her silk teddy drop from her slim shoulders.

But I’m not even remotely interested. Haven’t been for a while if I’m being honest. Hell, I was too tired after work to battle with her when she showed up late tonight. Turning my back to herm I stare out at the city wondering if Christmastime will ever feel the way it should for me.

Shiloh

Red Velvet. My fingers skim the plush dress on the hanger. It’s sure to hug the curves of my body and hopefully make me irresistible to Grant. I lift it from the rack and hold it up against me, turning to the mirror as I do. My hands tremble as I’m thrown back in time to a memory long buried. The red velvet dress is a talisman, spinning me back to the last time I wore a dress this color at Christmas…

Christmas 1995

“Look at you, such a little perfect princess.” I shrank back as yet another stranger pinched my cheek.

My eyes drifted to the twenty-foot tree. I was just an ornament. Perfect and on display.

Sighing, I ran my delicate fingers down my red velvet Christmas dress hoping Santa would bring me the Holiday Barbie I wanted and a kitten. I dreamed of a kitten to curl up at my feet at night and keep the monsters away. My kitty would have sharp claws and teeth and use them on everyone but me. Soft, fur that would tickle my palm and a throaty purr to comfort me in the way Mama’s arms never do.

I straightened and carefully walked in my new, black Mary Janes to the desert table. The shoes pinched my toes, but I didn’t dare complain. Mama wanted to find a husband and having me made that difficult she says. I need to be perfect, so Mama doesn’t get mad and ignore me on Christmas.

I eye the choices in front of me. Sugar cookies, rich chocolate cake, bowls of ribbon candies and peppermint sticks. It’s all for show. None of Mama’s friends ever touch a thing. I reach forward and grab a large slice of cake just as I’m bumped from behind. Not hard, but I’m only six. The slice of cake wobbles on the plate and falls down the front of my dress like a tumbling weed.

Mama’s going to be mad.

I frantically grab napkins but it’s too late. The click of her heels crossing the floor makes my palms sweat and my tummy hurt.

“Shi…,” she bends down, moving my thick hair behind my ear as her ruby red covered lips whisper in my ear, “go to your room. Not one word. Not one tear. Do you understand?”

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