19
“When will you be back?” I wrapped my arms around Roque, hugging him from behind. He tensed in my embrace. In front of him, the dawn broke, stretching its rays wide bringing the promise of a new day.
The past few weeks were glorious. Roque’s love is intense. Deep. Powerful. Washing over me every time his eyes glance my way.
But the closer Roque and I got, the more Zio’s been pulling away. He barely looks at me. Every time I try to engage him in conversation he mutters in Italian and complains of being tired. More days than most, when I come home from school, I find Zio asleep in his chair.
“A few days maybe.”
“I wish I could go with you,” I whispered into his back, cringing at the sound of my own lovesick voice.
“Me too, bella.” He lifted my hand to kiss my palm before moving off the edge of my bed.
My eyes lingered on the scars across his back. I felt them the first time we were together, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking. I made the mistake once, of tracing my finger along the jagged, raised edge of one once and Roque hissed, ordering me never to touch them. It hurt. A lot. That he’s still closed off from me, keeping secrets. But then again, I’m keeping the biggest one of all.
“Is it…business?”
He whipped around. “No. Family stuff.”
“I thought your whole family was dead.”
“Not quite. Your uncle doesn’t know everything.”
Neither do you.
I’m hurt he won’t fully let me in.
Something was going on. He didn’t even bother creeping through my window last night. He came through the front door. Zio was asleep anyway but Roque was not to be denied. My bed creaked all night. He took me like a man on a mission. It was rough, tender at times but almost brutal and violent other times. The man acted like he wanted to consume me.
Now he’s distant and cold like the fires that burned through the night never flamed. Bitter ash filled my mouth as he dressed, barely looking at me.
“Don’t lie to me.”
His eyes lifted. “Don’t you have high school in an hour?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what? Getting dressed? I have a flight to catch.”
“Fine. Whatever.” I grumbled, rolling over and giving him my back. Fuck high school. I needed sleep.
I heard him finish dressing, then the bed dipped as warm lips landed on my bare shoulder. “I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll go out on a real date to Manhattan. The theatre… clubs… whatever.”
“Don’t try to pacify me like I’m a toy. I hate all that shit and you would know that if you knew who I was.”
He laughed as his teeth sink into my flesh just enough to sting. “Fine. I’ll take you out on rounds.”
“Rounds?”
“Yeah… where we enforce our rules and punish people who break them.”
“Hmmm…” I twisted the sheets because honestly the gap between our worlds outside of this room was just too wide and we both knew it.
Suddenly he came close. I remember staring at the shiny tip of his polished shoes as he stood next to my bed. “Look, Blue. You and I are written in the stars. Our fates are sealed. I’m coming back for you…in three days, three years, or thirty. You got me?”
He lifted my chin and I nodded fighting back tears. I never thought I’d choke on despair for him leaving me. I knew it was just business. But something in my gut just didn’t feel right.
“I’ll call you later, okay?”
I nodded and he sighed, bending down to grasp my head and kissed me like a dying man. Our mouths opened and parted over and over again. He stole my breath. We kissed until we couldn’t breathe. Both of us were heaving and angry when we parted. He seemed almost feral as he fought himself not wanting to leave. “No matter what happens, know you’re the only girl I could ever love.”
“What does that mean? Why are you really going?” Frustrated, I lunged off the bed and beat my fists against his chest. He caught me in his arms and sighed into my hair, stroking my back as you would a child before finally letting go.
“Three days, okay?”
“Okay.”
But it wasn’t three days and things would never be okay.