Page 5 of Vengeful Pawn

CHAPTER 4

MiaBella

TWO MONTHS LATER.

“Well, it’s not what you were thinking,” Dr. Rhodes says as she enters the exam room with a folder open in her hands.

“Just tell me.” I try to stifle my panic. Losing nearly twenty pounds in the last couple of months is cause for panic. The vomiting all day, every day, is slowly killing me.

“It’s not cancer.” Relief releases some of the tension I’ve been carrying around. “You’re pregnant,” she says, a hesitant smile on her lips.

“I’m what… What?” Speechless is a good start. “I haven’t…there isn’t…I’ve been on the pill for ten years!” I shout the last two words, and we both wince. “Sorry.”

“This is a good thing, Mia. This is easily fixable in whatever way you’d like.” She waits for me to acknowledge her words, so I nod my head and roll my hand for her to continue. “There are medications to ease what we now know is morning sickness. I can set you up with a nutritionist to help alter your diet so we can get you gaining weight again.”

“You assume I’m keeping the baby.” My blunt words take her by surprise.

She blinks rapidly before recovering. “Well, yes, of course, you have options whether to keep, terminate, or adopt.” She’s flustered; she keeps glancing down at the folder. “Do you want the medication until you decide? Then you’re at least comfortable.” I agree and wait for her to write the prescription. “You should take folic acid, as well, in case you decide to keep the pregnancy. It just gets you started earlier.”

“Yeah, sure.” I’m still reeling and not paying attention to what she’s saying. Thankfully, she’s written everything down for me as she passes me the prescription and a few pamphlets about all my options.

After making another appointment for next week, I sit in my car and scream. Not sure how long I’ve been here for, but my windows are fogged over, and my body aches from the tension.

I’m supposed to have lunch with my older brother, Castle, but I don’t have the energy to keep this type of secret from him, so I shoot him a quick text explaining how horrible I feel and make plans for another day. He’s frustrated but understands. I’m relieved I didn’t tell him about this appointment now. He wouldn’t have let me off the hook otherwise.

I need time to process before sharing any details with others. There’s no question that I’m keeping the baby. I’ve wanted children my entire life, and even without knowing who the father is, I’ll love him or her with my whole heart.

Of course, I could always ask Castle who the man was that he allowed to stay in the condo that night. But then I’d have to tell him why, and he and the rest of the club would go on a manhunt. At least, I could say I tried.

“Oh my god.” It finally sinks in.

I’m going to be a mom.

A baby? I’m having one.

I’m at a complete loss. How do I proceed? Who do I tell? Castle is my only family, and while he’ll be supportive of me as long as I’m excited about it, he’ll also want a word with the father.

My brother has been protective of me since day one. Even before our parents died, he was there for me. He always had my back. When he joined the Deviant Sinners MC, his brothers became mine, too. I love them all to pieces, but they can be a bit much. It’s why my last boyfriend and I broke up six months ago.

He didn’t jive with their overbearing attitudes.

Translation: He was a weak excuse for a man.

He already had a tough time handling the fact that I didn’t bow down to him. I refused to give up my independence because Jeff wanted us to live together. It had to be at his place; I had to do all the cooking and cleaning. I was allowed to hire a laundry service if I needed to, and when we got married, he wanted me to quit my job and devote myself to him.

Why I stayed with the man for over a year is beyond me. I was lonely, I think. My brother had the club and his brothers there, but I only had two friends I considered close, and no one else outside my job. Which is fulfilling. Helping women and children escape violence is a life worth living. Quitting is not an option. Not when there are so many people who need help. Being in a position to do so is something I’ll continue until I can no longer. Except for today. Today, I’ll wallow and cry and try to eat something after filling this prescription, hoping it works.

Sitting inside the pharmacy as I wait, my eyes snag on the aisle for baby supplies and spot this cute little multicolored plush duck. Picking it up, the soft fur tickles my fingers. The aisle, for whatever reason, opens this whole new world for me, and all I can think about is how my future will change.

Long, sleepless nights. Dirty diapers. Crying, so much crying. And I’m about to do it all on my own. Do I truly want to, when I have the option to figure out who Hendrix is?

A thought strikes, and I carry the duck back to my seat.

Dropping into it, I’m horrified to realize that the father didn’t even ask my name, and I didn’t offer it to him. Growing up, I swore I would never have a one-night stand, would never beone of those girlsin the position I’m currently in, because I didn’t want to ask for a name.

“Stupid, M.B. So freaking stupid.” He could have given me much worse than just a growing life inside of me. So many STDs to contract.

Sure, I went and got tested a couple of days later, and everything came back clean. But I still can’t believe how abhorrently dumb I was. I never had a lapse like that before, but his achingly deep blue eyes foolishly sucked me in like a vacuum.

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