Page 5 of And Everything In Between

He wasn’t in for any kingpin business. No cartel affiliations, no Scarface narrative. Just aggravated robbery and possession, enough to bury him under a long sentence.

Still, she’d loved him the only way she knew how, quietly, fiercely, and from a distance that kept her life intact.

“Damn, P. You still fine as a muthafucka,” he said, sliding into the seat across from her like no time had passed. “I was startin’ to think you forgot about me.”

“Nah,” she murmured, resting her arms on the table. “I didn’t forget.”

“Well, you sure moving like you forgot.” A cocky grin was plastered on his face. “Dodging my calls, hanging up on me... What’s up with that?”

JT wasn’t stupid. He knew this bid had been hard on her, especially for a man she had no romantic involvement with before the system snatched him up. A man who, even behind bars, had a roster of women waiting to send him money, comevisit and do all the things she refused to do. If he was honest, he was surprised she lasted as long as she did.

There was a time she had clung to it. JT embodied her comfort zone, her motivation to smile, her reason to rush home and wait for the phone to ring, his lazy drawl leaking through the receiver. He became her security blanket, stitched together with late-night collect calls, sweet nothings, and promises sent through the mail.

Vacations. Diamonds. Dreams. More than anything, he promised to make her happiness his mission the minute he got out.

Jail talk was a hell of a drug. And maybe, for a while, she’d been high off it too. She knew how it looked now, crazy, sad, desperate, like she didn’t have better options. But that wasn’t who she was. Paige was a lover. A fixer. And unless you had ever loved someone behind bars, no one could judge her. Because unless you lived it, you didn’t understand it. There was a strange peace in loving someone at a distance.

No expectations.

No daily obligations.

No mess.

Just love, safe behind structure.

“So, you good? How’s your pops?” the question was casual, but she caught the way his eyes flickered, searching for an opening an inkling that he still had a chance to convince her he needed her.

“He’s... managing,” she said, uninterested in the small talk. “Dialysis three times a week. I’m doing what I can.”

“How’s work? Employee of the month. Seen that shit in the paper.”

He grinned, and so did she. She almost forgot why she was there. The visit didn’t feel final, but she wasn’t going to forget why she was there.

“Yeah. Promotion’s coming soon.”

A quiet whistle slipped through his teeth. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about. My baby out here elevating.”

“I’m not your baby, JT. You gotta hear me this time. That’s why I’m here.”

“Paige, you always gon’ be something to me. Fuck what you on.”

And he meant it. She could see it in the way he sat up a little straighter, the way his chest puffed out a little. She could say what she wanted, but he’d held his own for her and about her. He hadn’t missed a birthday or holiday. The gifts came on time with his love in them, and what he could help with, he did. He had a right to know why now and why their dreams were ending.

He thought that was enough. And maybe once upon a time, it had been. But not anymore. JT would never understand that. And she didn’t expect him too because if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn’t be doing this for her. She needed more than his promises. More than familiar arms that never showed up when she needed them most. More than the idea of a man, framed behind glass.

“I’m done with this, JT.”

“Done?” he repeated, leaning in. “P, we’ve been through too much. You held me down when nobody else did. You know I got love for you. Why you doing this?”

“I know,” she whispered. “But love ain’t enough. If love is for me, it needs to be free enough to help me, hold me, take shit off my plate... not add to it.”

He opened his mouth. Closed it. Because what could he say? She was right.

That their love was a wild ass dream they had to wake up from one day, sooner rather than later.

“You gave me something I needed at the time.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. “You made me feel wanted. Safe, even. But I need a love that’s consistent, stable and with me in the trenches.”

His jaw tensed. That flash of frustration he always tried to hide sparked across his face.

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