Page 44 of A Wilderness Within

“Hey, Kirby.” Caroline ruffled her hand in the dog’s fur on the top of his head. Kirby twirled expectantly to Lincoln, and Lincoln suddenly laughed, which sounded ridiculous at first in the silent house.

“What? What is it?” Caroline asked.

“I’ve wanted a dog all my life. My dad never let me have one, and obviously I couldn’t have one in the service. It took the world ending for me to finally get my childhood wish.” He knelt down at face level with Kirby and reached out to pet the dog. Kirby bumped his nose into Lincoln’s outstretched palm, then moved in for an excited lick of Lincoln’s face.

“You are wrong, you know,” Caroline said. Her eyes were soft as she looked at him.

“Yeah? About what?” He straightened.

“The world ending. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. The world never ended. The wind still moves, and the grass will grow in the spring. The birds still sing. There is still life. This isn’t over, Lincoln.Wearen’t over. My niece, Ellie, is in her nursery right now, perfectly healthy. She’s alive, we’re alive. Joanie and Glenn are alive. That woman from the CDC is alive. There are others. We have to find them, have to tell them to join us. We need to band together.” She grasped his face in her hands, pulling his head down to hers. “We can do this. We can rebuild. I know it.”

Then she kissed him.

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@CDC: We recommend that you wear medical face masks and protective eye gear when around infected individuals. It is also greatly recommended that you avoid close contact with other people, even if they do not show signs of infection. The incubation period of Hydra-1 is still unknown.

—Centers for Disease Control Twitter Feed

January 7, 2020

Her kiss was like a damn drug, making his mind go blank of all things except how good she made him feel. It was like feeling the sun on his face after a century of gray skies and endless rain. Her breath was warm against his face and he sighed, wishing he could kiss her for hours. He wrapped his arms around her waist, absorbing the emotions he swore he could almost taste as she met him kiss for kiss. There were promises of trust, passion, desire, longing, and sorrow. Caroline could fit a universe of feelings in just one kiss. She was the kind of woman a man dreamed about, the kind Lincoln had never believed he would find.

When their lips parted, she stroked a fingertip over his mouth as though trying to memorize the shape. She half smiled, and the expression made her glow somehow, even in this dimly lit house.

“Come on, let me show you everything. I don’t think we’ll have a chance to come back here anytime soon. I just want to see everything one last time.” She checked to make sure Ellie was sleeping in her crib before she took him through the house of her childhood, pointing out room by room, the things that had made it home.

Her father’s messy office held the lingering hint of cigar smoke. Her mother’s studio had oil paintings of the gardens that she’d created on her free weekends. The cozy sunroom with bookshelves stuffed with every kind of book imaginable. There was the kitchen with its country French colors and welcoming design. The dining room had a large table set for eight. Closets full of board games with worn covers from years of use. The piano in the formal living room had dozens of pages of sheet music piled up on the music stand. Her and Natalie’s bedrooms were full of high school photos and college graduation pictures and notes from friends, journals, and travel books. The last room they entered was the nursery. The pink elephants painted on the walls held a personal touch. He thought he recognized the style.

“Your mother painted these?” he asked Caroline.

“Yeah. Natalie and Rick lived close and visited a lot, so they made their guest room into a nursery for Ellie to use when Nat and Rick came to visit.”

Ellie lay in her white wooden crib, shifting her chubby legs as she tried to kick free of the blankets. She was so small, so vulnerable. Caroline picked her up and held her out to him. He tried to refuse, but Caroline gave him a firm look that warned him he had to take her. He picked up Ellie and stared down at her. She scrunched her nose and yawned, and the soft kittenish sound she made slipped through a chink in Lincoln’s armor and went straight into his heart. He settled her into the crook of his arm and inhaled her sweet baby scent. He’d always wondered if that baby smell people talked about was real. Turned out it was, and it did funny things to him. He wanted to just close his eyes and hold on to her forever.

“I found these in the bathroom.” Caroline held a pregnancy test box. “I’ll wait a week and try it.” She put the tests in a backpack and began to stuff diapers and baby clothes inside.

“I think we’ll have to teach Kirby to carry Ellie’s emergency go-bag,” Lincoln said as he rocked the small blanketed bundle in his arms. She couldn’t be more than five months old.

“Good idea.” Carolyn took the baby back and placed her in the carrier. Two hours later they were packing up the car again, this time with the baby and a dog in tow.

“Ready to leave?” Lincoln joined Caroline by the steps to her home. She wiped her tears away, and her expression changed to one of steely resolve.

“Next stop, Atlanta?” she asked.

“The CDC is our best bet. Others will be picking up the transmissions, I’m sure.” Lincoln curled an arm around her and pressed a kiss to her temple. It was easier now to touch her, to be affectionate. He’d never imagined he could be what his men had called “domesticated.” They’d all joked about being half-wild with the way their lives were and the way they lived. Yet now he was settling down. He had a woman and a baby to look after, and he didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world than where they needed him to be.

“Atlanta it is, then.” Caroline leaned against him for a brief moment, then pulled away and got in the passenger side. Ellie was already asleep in her carrier in the back, and Kirby thumped his tail as they got inside.

Lincoln said nothing more as he drove them away, but he reached for Caroline’s hand and squeezed it tight.

The gray sky seemed thinner now, and the horizon was flushed pink with the sun sinking below the trees. Lincoln prayed for a day with clear skies and sun, just one.

As they drove toward the highway, Caroline pulled out his phone and connected it to the vehicle’s speakers. Bill Withers started to croon “Ain’t No Sunshine.”

Bill was right. If Caroline went away, she’d take every bit of light with her.

Caroline eyed the small house they’d found off the highway for the night. Ellie was restless in her carrier and likely needed a diaper change.

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