Page 64 of Fashionista's Playbook

The throb of my pulse drowned out all sound around me. Rumer’s mouth moved, but I didn’t hear a word she said.

With trembling hands, I pulled out my phone. I rarely checked social media, other than Travis’ at work. When I opened mine, there were hundreds of notifications.

And messages. The first one…from my sister.

I took one long slow breath and dropped my phone into my purse. I couldn’t deal with that, didn’t want to deal with it. The last time I’d been the center of any attention—just thinking about it made me queasy.

The waiter stopped at the table to take our drink order. Sound slowly worked its way back in as he walked away. I groaned but stopped short of sliding beneath the table to hide.

“Are you seriously embarrassed to be dating one of the hottest guys in all of Texas?” Rumer’s eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. The effect was very teacherly. “Who also happens to be a really great guy, from everything you've told me?” There was an air of disbelief in her voice.

“No, not at all.” I hid my scowl behind the menu. Not that I was hungry or could even make sense of it. “It’s not Travis—it’s, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“But you both looked happy on the red carpet.” Rumer softened, gave me a hopeful glance, and bounced the dangling foot of her crossed leg.

I dropped the menu with a huff. “It’s the attention, I guess? I knew someone would notice. I didn’t figure that my relationship status would cause a stir all the way back home.” To people I definitely did not want to ever deal with again. Half the schoolhad been involved with the worst day of my life and a lot of them were messaging me now.

Pigmo on their radar again. I drew a trembling breath and fought not to cry.

“This will require something stronger than water.” She gestured for the waiter and within a few minutes we had wineglasses in our hands.

“High school was rough for me. Finding friends has never been easy and kids are cruel.” I downed half the glass, then stared at the gold liquid that spun in the glass, scowled, and finished it.

I’d been naive to not realize a relationship with Travis wouldn’t draw attention. Especially with him holding me on the red carpet.

What did I expect? Becoming a successful fashion designer would put me in the spotlight too. But at least then, I wouldn’t still look like that chubby girl chasing around the popular guy. But I wasn't that girl anymore. I was a strong, intelligent, goal-oriented woman who didn’t need validation from the opinions of others.

Aren’t I?

I pressed my fingertips to my temples. “I’m not sure any of this is worth it.”

“Anything that leaves you moving like that is worth it, Moriah.” She gave a ludicrously lewd wiggle of her eyebrows.

I snorted. “I mean, the sexwaspretty damn amazing.” Definitely the best I’d ever had.

Rumer turned uncharacteristically serious. “Look, letting shit from your past keep you from fully enjoying your life is stupid. You deserve the happiness you have right now. Own it, enjoy it.”

My stomach tightened. “If that were the only issue, sure.”

Rumer’s eyes darkened. “What else is there?”

I held up a palm for peace, before she flew out of there to rip Travis’ face off in my defense. “People have a lot to say, apparently. Even his agent didn’t think I was attractive enough to be seen with him.”

“You’re kidding, right? Did Travis tell the douche off?” Rumer tilted her head to the side expectantly.

“Well yeah, he fired him for it.”

She put down her glass to give a golf clap of approval.

I didn’t fully embrace her satisfaction. Travis telling Ace to go fuck himself was one of the better moments of my life, but that wouldn’t make it all go away. Someone would always have something to say.

She studied me for a while with a gaze that was as introspective as it was assessing. “I understand your self-confidence isn’t always the best. But honey, at some point you’ve got to wake up and know your worth. You’re beautiful, smart, and stylish. Travis is lucky to have you on his arm, in his bed, hell, in his life.” Her earnest expression ripped right through me.

There were parts of this budding relationship I fought to ignore. But I needed to say it out loud, get rid of it, so I could move past it. “He can have any woman he wants. I can’t compete with that.” This wasn’t as much about loving myself as it was about knowing who he was.

Rumer rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Moriah?” Her judgment was obvious. “I don’t see him inviting anyone else to stay over, do you?”

I shrugged. “No.”

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