Page 11 of Savage Lust

five

Riley

During the burial, for a brief second, there’d been an innocence to Cam that left my heart aching. He’d lost someone he cared about; the pain was etched in every feature. His mouth formed a rigid, unwavering line, like if he said a single word he’d shatter.

I wanted to go to him, apologize for intruding on his grief, and would have, but he stormed off, long legs eating up the yellow grass until he made it back to my father’s bike. There was a rumble, a pop, and then nothing but a roar as he tore off out of the cemetery.

I still wore his flannel and would have waved after him to give it back—but my father’s vest was heavy in my arms.

“You good?” AP sidled next to me on legs that bowed slightly at the knees.

Compared to the controlling and almost combative way Preacher stood near me during the funeral, and the sheer intensity of Cam, AP was cool like a brief respite from the sun.

“Yeah. Will the limo take me back home?”

AP gave a solemn nod. “Or anywhere else you want to go.”

When he started toward the car, I went with him. It seemed natural to hang out beside him. He wore a pale gray dress shirt beneath his vest, rolled up to the elbows.

There were flickers of tattoos on his arms, which only made his vibe cooler.

“You were close to him?” I’d seen some photos in the hallway, so I already knew the answer.

He stopped short with a sad smile. “He was my best friend.”

We walked quietly all the way to the limo, where he opened the door and squeezed my shoulder with the other hand. “If you ever want to know about him, call me.”

Emotion stung the back of my eyes and burned in my nose, so I ducked into the car. Before he could shut me in, a feminine form pushed past. Dylan, an apologetic smile on her face, crawled in with me. “I rode over in the limo, so I don’t have a ride back.”

I patted the seat beside me. “The company is appreciated.” I liked her. Unlike most of the other women there, she wasn’t sizing me up. There’d been so many of them, sliding in and out of leather clad bikers, climbing on the backs of bikes, each one more bitter and angry looking than the next.

Dylan waited until we pulled from the graveyard before talking. “Must feel like you’re on an island all alone, with sharks circling.”

“Sort of, yeah.” My shoulders relaxed and sank more comfortably against the seat. I picked at some gold thread on one of the patches.

“They’re curious.” She gazed out the window. “I didn’t even know Archer had a kid…most didn’t.”

“In a way, neither did I.” That he was out there somewhere, yes. But anything about him, no. He was the man who ruinedMom’s life, who kept her looking over her shoulder all the time. He was dangerous, all bikers were.

She chuckled, the sound warm and inviting. “I’m glad you’re here, at least. I... always felt sad he was alone, since...” She choked up a bit and swallowed.

Her emotion hit me in a way similar to Cam’s. I leaned across and squeezed her hand. “I wish…” I’d what, come sooner? Known him? That he wouldn’t have spent the rest of his life alone since my mom left. “From where I’m sitting, he was never alone. I’m sorry for your loss.”

She caught my gaze and held it. Her eyes were so bright with tears they reminded me of the way the ocean reflected the sky, crystalline blue. The moisture making everything more vivid. There was something there that hadn’t been before, as if for the first time we really saw each other. “Thank you.”

“Want to come with me to the clubhouse? There’s a celebration of life thing, lots of pictures and stuff, maybe even some stories about Archer.” She was sharing something with me, a part of their world—to help me understand.

I wanted to hug her. Instead, I gripped the sides of the leather. “I’d like that.”

She smiled and called to the driver that there was a change of plans.

***

Dylan said to wear whatever I felt the most comfortable in. I opted for skinny jeans, a pair of well-loved Vans, and a red shirt with short sleeves.

In my father’s kitchen, I hesitated. Dylan waited in the limo. I could stop whatever charade this was, hide away in the spare bedroom, and wait for the next few weeks to pass quietly. Hide,like the frightened rabbit Mom had been, but I’d already done that. It hadn’t saved her or me.

I could learn about the man whose death had brought me here. These people loved him. Would I have? Had she been wrong? I’d never know if I hid. It was time to do the one thing I hadn’t:live.

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