Page 24 of Savage Lust

When I opened it, all the air in the room got sucked away. There were hundreds of pictures of me, the one on top was from my high-school graduation. At the bottom, a large manilla envelope. I placed the box on the dresser and shook out the letters.

My heart ached. The careful, flowing cursive was as familiar to me as my own handwriting.

Mom.

He’d known. Every milestone, every part of my life, she’d written to him. I lowered myself to the ground and started reading.

“I think you found it.”

“Huh?” I flicked a glance up at her.

“Whatever you were looking for.” She hugged me before disappearing out of the room to leave me alone with the letters.

Maybe it wasn’t Archer I’d needed, but Mom. I moved the box to the spare room and sat on the bed, reading through her letters, looking at the pictures. I’d always felt her love, but she had never been an emotional person. Closed off, guarded, sometimes cold. But reading her words, I could feel the love she’d never been able to express.

I lay on the bed at one point, clutching a letter to my chest.

It was dark by the time I heard the truck come back and both bikes leave. Dylan called her goodbyes not long after.

Archer had kept up with every aspect of my life the whole time. There were printed emails too, from teachers and coaches, people who’d been in my life through the years. And yet, I’d never known a thing about him. She’d told me he was a dangerous, horrible man. Made it such a big deal I never tried to seek him out myself.

There was even a copy of my graduation invitation Mom had mailed to him. He hadn’t come, but from the looks of an email, she had thanked him for sending money. How hypocritical to say such awful things but then take from him.

The box did little to heal me. Instead, I fell asleep thinking of all the things I’d missed out on.

It was after three a.m. when the sound of Cam’s bike roared up the driveway and woke me. How it must hurt to know that someone you cared so much for, looked up to, had taken their own life.

Could his disbelief be denial? I didn’t know, but my heart still ached for Mom. Even if she’d lied to me my entire life. Losing someone you loved changed who you were. Not knowing why, the surprise of it coming so fast, then having that death thrown up in your face when his estranged daughter comes to town?

The more he softened around me, the more that guard dropped, the more I realized I liked him. Yeah, he was sexier than any guy I’d ever met, and dangerous too. But he was funny, kind and loyal. He hadn’t done anything to me, not really.

But the way his lips curved up under the blond goatee when he grinned at me, or the way his voice got lower when we were alone…

I twitched uncomfortably on the bed, jerking the Harley Davidson throw blanket up to my chin. Thinking about Cam definitely wouldn’t lull me back to sleep.

Stretching as I stood, I packed up the wooden box and stowed it beneath my suitcase. When I left here, these things were coming with me. Everything else could stay.

If I was awake, I might as well get to work. I started a pot of coffee. Outside, the lights were on in Cam’s over the garage apartment. He was awake too. I snarled at my reflection in the dark glass when the thought tightened my belly.

I moved my clothes around in the laundry and deposited clean ones in the guest room. The mundane chore, surrounded by the familiar and comforting scent of detergent and fabric softener, made me feel momentarily at home.

That feeling clawed its way from my chest and up my throat. I didn’t have a home. In a few weeks, when this was over, I’d have money but nowhere to belong.

I steadied myself when I reached to pick up an errant sock off the kitchen floor. Archer’s vest still hung on the back of the chair. They’d given it to me, but it wasn’t mine. Even if I’d known him, I wasn’t part of that world.

But Cam was. The surrogate son. It belonged to him.

Clad only in a pair of shorts that flirted with the hem of my faded t-shirt, I snatched it off the chair and took off out the back door. Cam was up. I could give it to him now. Maybe offer him some sort of closure, peace, something…

At the top of the steps, I faltered. Low music hummed through the walls, followed by laughter, and a woman’s voice purring.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

This was a horrible idea. I don’t know what made me think a guy like Cam Savage would be up this late alone. I turned and jogged down the wooden stairs, thankful my bare feet made little noise.

The music grew louder as his door swung open.

I froze halfway down the steps. There were cameras. I forgot about the cameras.Shit.

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