Whatever it is, I can’t ignore it any longer. Reading her book could be the first step toward something that can heal the dark hole in my heart.
“Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself and her,” he concedes, looking me in the eye.
His eyes are so blue, and his Scottish accent is more pronounced, sexier when he’s serious.God.I’ve missed him. He has to know.
I step forward again and reach out to him, placing my palm on his forearm.
He stills. “Riley, you can come with me. But this...this is…” he pauses, his Adam’s apple mesmerizing me. “You and I… This is just a vacation—a short vacation. Then we go back to our separate lives.”
The sting is sharp, and I want to recoil. But I stay still, pushing every hurt down. “Of course.” I let go of his arm, stepping back. I don’t want to be like my mother—running away and after a man the way she ran after Asa. I can’t be like her.
But you are.
Rowan clears his throat, walking around me to grab my bag. “I planned on stopping for lunch before going to the dock. Make sure you call your sisters and father to tell them you won’t be on the flight. I don’t want them thinking anything happened to you.
I nod, though I know I won’t. I’m tired of everyone knowing where I am. And besides, it’s not like anyone was picking me up from the airport. I planned to take a rental home.
If no one knows where I am, I can justexistfor a change. I won’t have to take care of anyone or promise my father I’ll make up with my mother soon. And I can unravel, make promises to myself that maybe I’ll keep.
Sinking into the dream, I watch Rowan pack my belongings into the car, mesmerized by the slow roll of his shoulders, the color of his auburn hair. When he’s done, I get into the car, and I’m no safer there. His scent is everywhere, and that’s not good. I need the open sea, the beach, anything to distract me from him.
As Rowan comes toward me, my eyes remain fixed on the horizon. I know I’ve hurt him in the past, and I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes again. Despite the fear of rejection gnawing, I decide to keep my promise to be more truthful with him.
If given a chance, I’d never lie to him again.
I may not chase him, but I’ll relive us every time I close my eyes.
He’s a curse and a shield.
He’s mine when I close my eyes.
I’m his if he reaches out to touch me.
But I know he won’t.
SINCE YOU
ROWAN
The marina is quiet,and the sun’s just rising, throwing a copper glow across the docks as I approach the boat I didn’t plan on boarding.
This isn’t the vessel I booked.
This isn’t the captain I was promised.
But plans fell apart last night. The original guy—Captain Marris—called me at the hotel with some half-assed excuse about the weather and mechanical issues. I didn’t buy it, but I didn’t have time to argue. Daniels was the only option available, and I couldn’t risk delaying the trip.
He’s leaning against the rail when I arrive, arms crossed, a cigarette burning slowly between two fingers. He nods like we’ve already met. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“Captain Daniels?” I ask.
“That’s me,” he says, voice low and sandpaper-rough. “You’re cutting it close.”
“Had a change of plans. I hope you don’t mind if someone else joins.” I step onto the boat, feel it sway beneath my feet. “You said you knew the atoll?”
He blows out smoke and shrugs. “Better than most. It’s no resort, but I’ll get you there. Any excuse to get out there is one I’ll grab.”
“Oh, yeah?”