Page 103 of Hate Wrecked

Asa squared his shoulders. “Riley, have you been a cock tease? He’s my age. You can’t expect him to wait around for you forever.”

“I know what I’m doing, and I don’t need romantic advice from you,” I declared. Asa’s eyes went up and down my body. I was wearing a tight dress, two bands of fabric wrapped over my chest, covering my small breasts. I didn’t have fake ones like my mother. They made me self-conscious.

Asa’s eyes were conscious of every curve. “You think you do. Don’t you?” His eyes were on mine then, and his face softened.

He stepped forward, arms outstretched, and I remembered what an Asa hug felt like. It was always nice and warm. He hugged us girls more than my mother did in this house. And maybe it was a play, a strategy. I didn’t see it then, but I soon would.

Asa hugged me hard, and I hugged him back, tears streaming down my face. I hated the house, our family, the mess of it all. Asa whispered in my ear. “You’re a beautiful, smart, talented girl, Riley. I’m so glad you’re my daughter.” He nuzzled my neck, his mouth warm. “Sometimes when I look at you, I wish I knew your mother at this age.” His lips roamed, and my throat felt hot. Hands down my back, to my hips. He pulled back a little. “She was so beautiful then.”

“She’s beautiful now,” I said, my voice a whisper.

He brushed my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. The alcohol made me feel warm, less like the wall I should have been then. His hand fell down and trailed my ribcage, while his other hand moved up and trailed my collarbone to the curve of my small breast. “She should have stayed natural, like this.”

I sucked in a breath. My body and mind warred. This was wrong, but I’d felt lonely and empty since Rowan left.

He dipped one finger under the fabric and pulled it down a little, his eyes flying to mine. I didn’t shake my head, but I didn’t nod yes. He pulled the silk down until my nipple was exposed. “God, like a little flower. I love flowers,” he said before dipping down and licking my nipple. I gasped, gripping the washer behind me. He took it as encouragement and sucked my nipple in his mouth. It felt foreign and wrong. I hated everything.

And I thought of Rowan, how he had touched me and shown me what genuine affection and connection were like. This wasn’t that.

I moved to the side, my nipple coming from Asa’s mouth. I went to speak, but I heard her then. My mother. Asa grabbed my arm and shoved me behind the door before opening it. He wiped his nose and greeted my mother with that typical Asa smile. “Have you seen my cigarettes?’” he asked upon greeting.

My mother whined, and I hated the sound. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Someone broke one of my vases in the living room. I got it in Italy.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Asa said, pretending to care.

“And where is Riley? She needs to stay close to Barry. He has that look in his eyes.”

“What look?” Asa asked, and I imagined he knew but wanted me to hear.

“Like he’s going to fuck one of the models out there.”

“Mmm, lucky him,” Asa snorted, walking out. I heard my mother smack Asa on the arm and their heated voices. The noise faded as the door shut, and I lowered myself onto the floor.

I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate it, I hate it.

This was not a family.

This was not a home. And I needed to make sure my sisters didn’t return. They may not have been the spitting image of my mother, but that didn’t mean Asa wouldn’t set his sights on them when they grew old enough. Just like Barry.

Beautiful Barry with the bruises he left on your heart.

I left the laundry room—another place sullied. Memories of Rowan and I taken away by a new and dark stain. I could still feel Asa’s mouth on me, and it made me shiver. Not in a good way.

I walked through the party, eyes darting as I searched for Barry—and whatever model thought she could get in his pants.

I didn’t see him. I walked past the pool to the gate, letting myself into the garden. The moonlight illuminated the garden bench ahead. I saw Barry there, sitting down and staring at the ocean. I walked to him, silent, ready to startle him, but I stilled at the sight of the bobbing head. Barry pulled his arms back and relaxed his head on the back of the bench as the sound of his moan reached me, coupled with the sound of the woman sucking his dick with fervor.

There was no safe place. None. Not even in my own heart.

So I would make sure everyone felt the same way I did inside.

I looked back to the house— the house Asa and my mother and all of us pretended was a home.

And I screamed.

FERAL

RILEY

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