Page 12 of Hate Wrecked

“It’s okay to miss her. It’s okay to talk to her again. It won’t mean you didn’t have a reason to be mad at her and that you were wrong to not talk to her these past years.” My true thoughts come out, once hidden deep down, pulled to the surface by Riley’s wide eyes. “But you can change the relationship at any time. And your sisters, they look up to you. Maybe if you forgive your mom, they will too.”

Riley shakes her head. “You’re getting ahead of yourself. I know she’s your boss and all that, but you don’t know her the way we do.”

“I know her plenty,” I say. She’s like a mother to me, too.

She’s lucky to have her mother on this earth, alive and well. Especially after she almost lost her.

“Whatever,” Riley says, dismissing me.

I want to argue, but I don’t. It won’t do a damn bit of good, and I’m tired of fighting with her, tired of these latent desires bubbling beneath the surface, too.

I lean back in my seat, crossing my arms. “Okay. Are you going to be alright down here? I’m going up to watch the ocean.”

Riley smiles. “Watch the ocean.”

“What?” I arch a brow.

She smiles, looking down. “I remember how I used to love the way you said everything.Anything.I would listen to you talk when you thought no one was listening, and it was like every word was magic.”

I shake my head. “It’s just an accent, Riley.”

She rolls her eyes. “No, that’s not it. I don’t know.”

But I do know. I know what she’s saying, and I can’t listen to it right now. Iwon’tlisten to it. Sometimes you don’t get second chances, no matter how badly you want them and how beautiful that second chance looks sitting across from you. Because I can still feel the loss of her like a phantom limb. I can feel her close to my body, and looking at her makes the pain more acute.

“Well, if you’re alright, I’ll go...up.” I don’t want to give her anything else to latch onto. But I know what she’s doing. Not flirting exactly, but putting feelers out, even though I told her that door was shut.

I walk away from her and climb the steps, the warm air hitting my face and making me smile.

It’s a paradise out here. I watch the ocean, and it doesn’t watch back. Not the way Riley does. It’s half as beautiful as her. Never as haunting.

At least not in this part of the world. Clear skies for miles; the horizon promising danger and beauty.

I walk to the front of the boat, wondering when our destination will become visible. The atoll is uninhabited and in a transitional period, and I can’t wait to see the places I’ve only read about—the bunkers from the war and the downed aircraft.

We won’t have long there, just a few days of roughing it. But I need the reset. And so does Riley.

I hope this time makes her reflect on her life and everything she’s done to get here.

Do I hope I’m one of the things she thinks about? Maybe. But more so, I want it to be her family, health, and future.

I want her to see everything I see when I think of all she can do, all she can be.

She is as talented as her mother and as hardworking as her father. A protective shield for her younger siblings and a loyal friend.

And the kind of love that will crush you. As the weight of this realization washes over me, I close my eyes and let the salt of the sea fill my senses.

I’d have less heartbreak if I fell in love with these waves.

But I’m only half that foolish.

* * *

The ocean is vast, and it baffles me that I can see the island well before we reach it. Above deck, my smile widens, and I can’t help the curse that slips from my mouth. The captain glances at me and shakes his head. “Don’t get too excited. We will have to go around the atoll to find the opening that leads to the inner lagoon.”

“So?”

“We won’t make it there for another day. Go check on your girl.”

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