Page 13 of Hate Wrecked

I don’t correct him. I just go below deck. Riley is still asleep when I find her. I crawl into the small bed where she sleeps, closing my eyes momentarily. The trip has been cramped. I’ve had to share space with Riley, be close to her. Closer than I’ve been in years. But there’s no alternative.

And the captain sure as hell wasn’t going to be left alone with her.

I don’t trust anyone alone with her.

After a while, I place my hand on Riley’s shoulder. “You going to wake up?”

She mumbles something, then rolls over. “Yeah, I’ve been a little seasick. Sorry.”

“If you want to see it, the island is in view. Daniels said it’ll be another day until we reach it, but it’s fucking incredible.”

Riley turns toward me, and I shrink away. She purses her lips. “Okay. I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be up there soon.”

“I’ll be right outside.” I can’t turn it off—the desire to watch over her. If I could have sailed us out here alone, I would have. I hope to have my own boat one day, but until then, I’ll have to rely on others.

When I go above deck again, I walk to the boat’s edge, taking in the atoll. For years, I have dreamt of this place. And now I’ll get to touch that shoreline. I can finally begin the story and bring my characters into the light. I can start to shed the skin I have worn for too long—the same as my father’s.

After a few minutes, Riley joins me on deck. She stands close to me, staring into the distance, her arm almost brushing mine. “It’s beautiful.”

Her words don’t match the tone of her voice, and I turn to her. “What’s wrong? Are you still sick?”

“Not as bad as before,” she says, staring ahead to the atoll. “Doesn’t it scare you? The thought of being out there? Away from the world?”

“Of course.”

“What if there are people there? What would you do if we got there and someone was there already?”

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She turns to me. “I’m just...talking. Leave the bodyguard job behind for just a moment.”

“That’s not something I can do.”

“Can you talk to me like you used to?”

“I can’t do that either.” I turn back to the shoreline in the distance.

“It just... scares me a little. We have no idea what’s out there. Anyone could be out there, waiting.”

“Why did you come if that was a fear of yours?”

She stares at me. “Because when I’m with you, I’m never afraid.”

“You’re afraid right now.”

“Maybe… maybe even when I am, I’m never afraid I’ll get hurt if you’re with me.”

She has no idea what those words mean to me. The way they pierce my heart. I don’t turn to her. I don’t tell her how much I needed to hear that. I just stare at the shoreline until she stops looking at me. Until she stares at it, too. To a future. To a place untouched. A place of mystery and seclusion. If only for a while longer. I would never let anyone hurt her. I would never let anyone get to her. Not while we have this time together. Because it will end. It has to end. I need to leave her behind for good if I ever intend to find peace.

* * *

There are few serene moments in this life. So I’ve learned to savor them, quiet everything, and close my eyes.

Riley is resting below as we sail through the last waves between us and the island, and I’m watching her. She’s wrapped in a blanket on the couch, and I have a book in my hand. I don’t care about the book because I can watch Riley without guilt right now. Without her words or my own messing everything up. I wanted to savor the sea on this trip, but I can’t tear myself away from her.

The captain has everything under control, so I shouldn’t worry. But worry and Riley go hand in hand.

I close the book quietly, lean forward, and place it on the floor. This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever had, but some voice in my head is telling me this short excursion away from the world’s pressures might do Riley some good. I know the manuscript is in her bag on the floor next to her, and I’ll leave her alone with it; let her drink it in. I won’t ask questions. I’ll be whatever she needs out here, within my boundaries, if it will help her start off on the right foot when we board this boat again on our way home.

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