Page 66 of Hate Wrecked

Today brings change. Rowan and I decide to move to the other end of the island to fish. I don’t know if it’s cabin fever or a desperate plan to be in another place—any other place than where we were sequestered for a week.

When we find our spot, Rowan gets out his pole, and I tell him I’ll join him soon. When he sees what’s in my bag, he doesn’t question it. I flip through the pages, the sky overheard warm, lulling me to a sense of safety as I hold danger in my hands.

Will I forgive her? Will I stop lying to myself and admit that I miss her?

Who will I meet on these pages?

Before I can crack the spine, Rowan walks back to me. His eyes wander over my legs and the book in my hands. “How’s it coming?”

“I haven’t started,” I say, laying it next to me, stretching out. His eyes devour me, and his jaw ticks, but he looks away. I pull his gaze back with my next words. “I want you to tell me about the time you spent with Asa after he and my mom split up. I heard you came back.”

“I didn’t know they’d split up when I agreed to it. It wasn’t pretty.”

I shrug, looking out at the ocean. “It’s not like I don’t know him.”

“Do you keep in touch with him?” he asks.

“No,” I grind out. I was loyal to my mother then, despite my anger at her.

“He was doing what he always was, except he didn’t have to hide. He could fuck whoever he wanted.”

I let out a breath.

“At least when he was with your mom, he was a little… more reined in.”

I glare. “It’s not like she kept a tight leash on him.”

“You’ll understand more when you read the book.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. There’s too much to focus on here, and I won’t have time. I don’t know why I brought it out here.”

Rowan looks at me. “We’re lost. You have all the time in the world.”

“There’s too much to do. I should be fishing right now. Like I said, I shouldn’t have brought it.”

“You know how to do everything. Fishing, starting the fires, gathering water. If anything happened, you would be fine. You can take the day off. I’m giving you the day off to start that.” He points at the papers.

“If anything happened to you?” I ask, ignoring him.

“Yeah,” Rowan nods, looking back into the water. “You never know, Riley. Time to grow up.”

I close my eyes. Those words—I remember them—his plea, his desperate need for me to just give in, be brave. I couldn’t do it. Not then, but now I don’t have an audience. I have this endless abyss before me—time that means nothing.

And a corpse in the jungle with our fingerprints on his clothing. The last touch he felt.

I don’t want to bury Rowan in that jungle.

I look at Rowan. “Nothing is going to happen to you. Stop being dramatic. Save that for me.”

A hint of a smile dances across his face, but I blink, and it’s gone. “I’ll leave it to the professional, then.”

I smile, my eyes flashing forward when I see the pole Rowan rigged up move.

Before Rowan can speak, he sees my eyes, rushing to the pole.

Slow and steady, he reels in our catch. I leave my mother’s book behind once more, joining Rowan at the shore. When I glance over at him, I see a smile that isn’t fleeting, a whisper of hope in his blue eyes.

And I feel, for a moment, the hard fist of despair lessen its grip on my heart, if only for a moment. I know I should be focusing on the fact that we’re stranded on an island and don’t know when orifsomeone will come to rescue us, but I can’t. All I can focus on is Rowan. All I can focus on is his red hair, the white streak at his brow that he is self-conscious about, but I find incredibly sexy. He has no idea how devastatingly beautiful he is, his full lips and the wrinkles around his eyes.

---