Page 94 of Hate Wrecked

He steps forward, my body humming and swaying to him. “What were you thinking about?”

“Shall I return your words?Not you?”

“Only if it’s true,” he whispers. “And I wasn’t the first person to utter those two words.”

I wince, then edge closer to him. “If you touched yourself right fucking now in the shade of that cursed jungle, what would you be thinking about?” I ask.

A flash of memories goes through my mind. All him. All places we have been and ways we have touched each other. It’s been so long, and my body is begging for it. Begging for him.

“That night by the pool,” he whispers.

I blow out a breath. “When we could have been caught?”

“Yeah,” he says.

“If that’s the rub, no one will catch us here, Rowan. It wouldn’t be for show, the way you say I do it. It would be because I want it. Becauseyouwant it.”

“I already told you I’m not playing games with you, Riley,” he says.

I shake my head, moving away from him, and I feel the loss acutely. “Yeah, you are. The way you stormed off, dangled the carrot with that fucking notebook.” My teasing voice goes dark. “I was thinking of you. Because if I can’t have your hands on me, I can pretend mine are yours while I get myself off.”

“Fuck,” he whispers, turning away.

“You want to,” I hush.

He turns back to me, hand flexing, jaw tight. “Yeah, I do.”

“It’s okay,” I say, grabbing his hand. I turn his arm over, threading my fingers with his, pulling him close. Our foreheads touch as I go on tiptoe, and I can feel his breath on me. Warm and wanting. “It’s okay,” I say again.

“No, it’s not,” he counters. “This is a trauma bond; we pulled a man from the ocean, we wrecked on an island. We found…someone in a fucking trunk, Riley. We weren’t meant to be together this long, here, in this place.”

“We bonded well before this, Rowan, and you know it.”

“You’re healthier out here without everything you cling to, Riley. I don’t want to mess that up.”

I pull away, angry. “What, do you think you’re like a drug to me? A drink? Something bad? I’m not a kid anymore, and I can make my own decisions. So can you. Stop hiding from what you fucking want, Rowan.”

At this, he grabs me, fusing his mouth to mine, shivering at the slight whimper I let out before we touch. I’ve always loved the way he responds to my body, the way he lets go. He is open and present through every bit of our moments, when we touch. I’ve missed it.

I was wrong then—in our dark past. Maybe I’m wrong now. But he kisses me like I can lie to myself, like his body can lie to me, and it will be okay.

I need the rainy season because this drought—like our time on this cursed island—has to end. I need Rowan to drown me.

When Rowan pulls away, he looks into my eyes. “I want you.”

“Is that a chance?” I ask. “A second chance?” I’ve been begging for a chance, and now it feels like not enough. I want Rowan’s heart in my hand. I’ll be delicate; I’ll be careful. I’ll be everything he was for me.

“Yeah,” he whispers, hands running up my arm.

“I’ll take it,” I say. I kiss him and moan into him when he pulls me away from the water. His eyes are so blue when he looks at me and the stars around me. He looks happy, and to see a smile from Rowan is to witness the sun breaking open, no matter where you are or what time of day it is. To love Rowan Finn is to be wrapped in a warm blanket, and my heart has been so cold for so long.

When he takes my hand, pulling me toward the tent, I do not hesitate.

HAUNTED

ROWAN

The tent dooris still open when we reach it. My notebook is open, journal pages moving with the breeze. When I turn to Riley, she is shivering, her eyes darting.

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