Page 35 of Seven is Swell

“What do you mean? It’s just my mom.”

“There she is!” the queen trills from the TV that we've connected the call to.

Her mom is ready for the meeting of course, dressed nicely in mostly conservative clothing, but it's the background that throws everybody for a loop. Not me though, I was expecting something like this after the exchanges I’ve had with any of Delaney’s parents.

At least Adam is used to this sort of thing since he grew up with them around.

Cory starts choking, and Ash is leaning forward to squint at the screen even though the images on it are already way bigger than they need to be.

Delaney smirks and cringes at the same time. “Oh. You were talking aboutthat, weren’t you?”

The queen looks like she’s in her office, but instead of books on the shelf behind her, she has a whole collection of sex toys and lubes, because who doesn’t need to get down in their office?

Each toy has an individual case with lights shining on them, as if they’re meant to be art.

I’ve asked in the past, and apparently our queen just likes to shock people a bit. She finds it entertaining.

“A bit late I suppose,” Delaney says to everybody else in the room, “but you might want to brace yourselves for some unorthodox things. Don’t worry, she’s completely sane, I promise. She’s just a little obsessed with dicks.”

The queen laughs. “You say the sweetest things, daughter mine. You’ve got everybody together! Let’s see… Adam and Cory, looking great, hey August, hey Jackson, and Ash, good to see you again without the angry mob around you this time.”

“Hello, your Majesty.”

“Please don’t call me that. I’m your mate’s mother. We’re good.”

“Apologies,” he replies immediately.

“Yeesh. We’ll work on it. So, you guys asked for a meeting, and you got it. What’s up? Is it the other conduits there? Because let me tell you, we had some words. Have you had interactions with a young lady named Shelly?”

“Who wants to see a magic trick?” Delaney asks while holding her arm up.

This is something I’ve actually been waiting for. A side remark she made days ago that nobody seems to remember.

“Oh, magic is fun!” Cory says as they lean forward eagerly.

Delaney smiles at them and gets back to her point. “Yes, I’ve had interactions with Shelly. Not very pleasant ones, but I’m trying to see the best in her.”

The queen laughs. “Why ever would you do that? Your instincts are probably spot on.”

“Mom! You’re supposed to be in charge of all conduits here, they’re supposed to be like your children; you probably shouldn’t badmouth them.”

“False. They neither fell from my vagina, nor were they sneakily adopted by my mates behind my back, so I’m here to guide them and nothing else. I am absolutely inclined to call it as it is, and she had some bad energy.”

Delaney swallows, bracing herself. “She’s also the younger sister of Headmaster Aspis, who I’m pretty sure is supposed to be one of my mates.”

As promised, magic happens. Another circle forms on Delaney’s arm, empty of course because she hasn't made the bond, but clearly Delaney suspected it.

“Oh this is so much better than the ‘how do I make myself not squirt so far’ conversation I thought I was in for. Congratulations, honey! You found another one! Don’t you feel like you’re playing some sort of magical game, rounding up partners? Do you want me to send you some cowboy boots and a lasso? A bedazzled hat maybe?”

Everybody is silent for a beat, and then it seems like Delaney chooses to just ignore most of the insane stuff her mother just threw at us. “No thank you. Are you sure you can’t work your goddess magic and tell me how many of these I’m supposed to have? Surely not many more can fit on my arm. Seven is great. Seven is swell, in fact. I’ll just stop here, thanks.”

As if to prove a point, the queen bares her shoulder by yanking her shirt sleeve down. “Do you really want to talk aboutroom? Until your arm looks like mine, you’ll take what you’re given.”

“Funny, that’s what you said last night!” someone yells from the background on the camera.

“Gross, dad!” Delaney calls. A second later, a guy with opalescent blue and purple hair shows up with matching eyes,popping into the screen. “Hey baby. It is what she said last night. Don’t let her tell you otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Delaney drawls, but it’s so affectionate. It’s obvious that she has a good relationship with all of her parents.

---