Page 20 of Tamed Wolf

Beckett, Now

“Hey Camden, what’s up man?” I balance the very drooly baby in my other arm, taking two steps before realizing, belatedly, that I forgot to move the dirty diaper I just took off of him. Like a total schmuck, I left it on the ground. Fucking great. There’s baby shit on my foot and I can’t move at all, because if I do, I’ll track that shit all over our already destroyed house.

“Just reminding you about my birthday— you promised you’d come out with everyone. You haven’t been out in forever.”

Fuck. Is that tonight? “You know we can’t just leave Rowan home, man. He’s got this whole routine we have to stick with, or he gets so damn fussy we don’t sleep for days. And that’d be on top of the already not-sleeping thing we have going on.”

“I know you guys have a kid and all, but there’re other people in the world, you know? It would mean a lot to me, man. Plus, with all the shit that went down, I want to buy you guys a lap dance so you can feel like fuckin’ men again.”

“Please don’t talk about lap dances while I’m holding my kid. You really want me there? I don’t know how long we’ll be able to stay. I might be able to ask my friend Aspen to hang out with Rowan.”

“Even if it’s for an hour and you only stay long enough to down a few drinks, I want you there. You haven’t seen the club yet, and it’s gonna be mine someday, you know. It’d be cool if you supported that.”

The shit is soaking through my socks. “I need to go wash my foot. And find somewhere safe to deposit this drool factory. I’ll text Aspen and see if she’s up for hanging with Rowan, but no promises, okay?”

“Where are your brothers? You by yourself?”

“Working. Remember I told you I’ve been staying home with him the most?”

“Right.” He laughs like he finds this amusing, but whatever. He’s young and single and doesn’t know anything about how incredible it is to hold someone you helped make. Someone that looks to you for every damn need to be met, and who giggles until they’re red in the face when you disappear under their highchair.

“I’ll try my best to be there, man.”

He gives me some sort of acknowledgement and sign off but I can only focus on the disgusting warmth squishing between my toes and the stench rising up to me. “Bro, we have got to get you toilet trained. This is just embarrassing.”

Rowan doesn’t do anything other than reach for the collar of my flannel to try and chew on, but then, he’s only six months old so I guess that’s fair.

I eye up my options before jumping, very precariously, on one foot a few feet away to the little pack and play we’ve got set up, set the baby down gently and reach for one of the dozens of packs of baby wipes we’ve got stashed around the living room. Obviously for moments like this.

I sit on my ass right in front of him and rip my sock off, debating on whether or not getting baby shit on it is a good enough reason to throw it away, just to end up doing the responsible thing and tossing it in the basket we reserve for the explosive shits and things that need a second wash.

“One day dude, you’re going to be so embarrassed by all these stories I’m storing up here,” I explain to him as I tap my head. “It’s a good thing you’re so damn cute, because if I stepped in anyone else’s shi-doodoo, I’d probably never speak to them again.”

I go through three or four wipes even though it was mostly clean after the first, simply because I can’t get the feeling of that disgusting ooze pushing against my skin.

“What you think, R-Man, you wanna go hang with Auntie Aspen tonight? You’d be the big baby on campus with her little guy there. He’s not as proficient as you are at the babbling thing, but maybe you can work your baby magic and teach him something. Who knows, maybe you’ll be best friends and part of the same pack someday!”

I throw all the toxic waste in the diaper genie before washing my hands twice, then I pull out my phone and start begging Aspen to watch Rowan for a little bit tonight. She’s offered so many times and we’ve given in a few times, but she’s got five mates and two kids, even if one is a newborn, so there’re plenty of bodies around to make sure my kid stays alive.

When she immediately sends an emoji of a thumbs up and then a party sign, I figure I should be worried but decide to let my brothers know instead. I don’t think they’ll be pumped to come home from working outside all day and then turn around and go hang out with a bunch of horny guys at a strip club, but Camden wasn’t wrong that we don’t get any action these days. Might be exciting to see a good pair of boobs. Almost like a vacation.

Fuck it, I’m the alpha of our misfit pack. I’m making the call.

Me: Aspen’s taking Rowan tonight. We’re going out. Camden’s birthday, it’s happening.

Blake: Suck it. No.

Brooks: Please don’t suck me off, but yeah, I’m with Blake. I just want to cuddle Rowan and sleep for like 18 hours

Me: Alpha command in 3…2…

Blake: fuck you, man. You know I hate it when you pull that shit. I give up. I have no will left in me to fight. Where we going?

Brooks: I just shoulder checked him for giving in so damn fast. Cuddle sessions are sacred.

Me: We don’t have to stay long. Just have a drink and hang out and then we can swing by and pick up Rowan and be back in bed at a reasonable hour

Brooks: I’m laughing hysterically right now. If we’re going to bed at a reasonable hour, who’s watching Rowan all night?

---