Page 12 of My New and Improved Alien Lovers

“They are getting molded. Now that we are here, we begin your training. We are…particular about our training regimen. You will practice using exact replicas of our sexes so that while away from us, you get intimately familiar with every crevice and nodule on them.”

I spit coffee all over the very clean floor, wiping my chin off as I choke. “Is that a joke?”

His eyebrow area wrinkles up and lowers, like he’s perplexed by my question. “A joke? Why would I joke about my triad’s erect penises?”

“Just had to say it that way, didn’t you?”

“I fear we are experiencing a language barrier.” He spins around to the machine and presses some more buttons, extracting a plate after a bunch of whirling sounds echo through the room. The machine makes a dinging sound, and then he’s opening a door and grabbing two plates with food, setting them on the small metal table in the corner. “Come eat.”

I do so, on autopilot. I plop down, bare assed onto the cold metal chair and stare at the plate, cocking my head sideways to determine if I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing.

It looks like eggs and fruit…but…it’s been artfully arranged to resemble a giant dick with massive balls.

I look up at my apparent husband, a bit of perplexion of my own on display. “What the fuck is this?”

“Traditional mating breakfast.”

“Traditional…” I poke the main part of the…shaft, for lack of a better word, with the fork-like eating utensil he’s supplied.

As I prod the egg-like fluffy shape, what looks like melted cheese or maybe yolk spurts out the top. “What the fuck?”

“Arousing, is it not? Dig in!”

He takes that as his permission to eat, completely unphased by the food.

When in Rome…

The balls are made of what looks like blue kiwi-type fruit and are more than passable, as is everything else on the plate, but it’s still hard to get past that there are even some sort of crispy grains laid out to resemble hairs on the balls.

This is whole other level shit.

I hear a door sliding open and closing with the air locks they use here, deep voices rumbling out from the front of their apartment.

I can’t explain what happens when Kass and Adeema walk through to the kitchen. One minute I’m convincing myself to not lick the plate of all the fake food-coded semen, and the next I’m whipping my head towards the purple skinned males and jumping out of my chair, relief washing over me as I throw myself at them.

They chuckle and wrap me up in their long, muscly arms, not hesitating to nuzzle my neck and rub their skin along mine. “Sorry, I…don’t know what came over me.”

Adeema shakes his head and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his sturdy frame and carrying me from the kitchen as Kass grabs a package out of his hand and sets them somewhere.

“It is good. It means you are letting yourself act on impulses. This is important.”

“It is? I have no idea what’s going on with my body.”

“Perhaps a hot shower will help you feel more like yourself.”

I wait until I’m in a steamy bathing room and Adeema is pulling off his clothes before I spit out my questions. “Is mating breakfast that looks like a dick ejaculating a thing here, or is Owiin pulling my leg?”

“Owiin pulled your leg? Why?” He pauses with his hands inches from his fly, making me hold my breath.

I wave at him to continue, anxiously biting my nails as I blatantly watch him, feeling like I need to see what he’s packing. “It’s an expression. Was he playing a trick on me? Or is that real? That might be the strangest food I’ve ever eaten.”

Adeema booms out a laugh, then unwinds his dark silky strands from around his ribbed horns, combing through his locks with his long-nailed fingers before stalking towards me.

I’m sitting on what passes as a vanity on earth, and he steps between my legs and leans into me, being way too sexy as he reaches behind me to the medicine cabinet mounted to the wall. He removes some tools and begins to slowly and carefully trim his, well, talons, brushing the clippings into a small hole in the corner of the vanity that apparently is where the trash is located. Everything is very streamlined here, very intentional.

“Are these lengths suitable?”

He’s plunging his fingers into his mouth, rubbing them against the inside of his cheeks as he hollows them out, testing their…bluntness? But holy hell it’s making me consider things.

---