Page 33 of My New and Improved Alien Lovers

Well, there’s a good shot of adrenaline to get me moving. “Well, when you put it like that…”

When we’re all dressed, we amble our way towards the middle of the ship where the spaces used for community purposes are. We enter a massive space that gives off hotel vibes, made up of smaller rooms that have been opened up to connect. Benches fill the room, and there’s a huge circular platform in the very middle that could be seen from any angle.

I don’t pay attention to the small group of people up there talking as I sink down onto a bench, cross my legs, and try to stay awake. Sitting upright is out of the question, so I slip sideways and lean my head against Adeema’s shoulder.

I zone out, waiting for everything to begin. It is definitely tricky to stay awake with the low din of voices trying to figure out what’s going on. Plus, being surrounded by my triad is very comforting and they’re all so warm and easy to snuggle into. Especially when Owiin decides the bench is too hard for me, so he scoops me up and pops me on his lap instead. When they all start playing with my hair, combing through it, I’m definitely convinced they want me to take a little nap.

My head falls back onto Owiin’s shoulder, and his arms are so secure around me that I let myself start to drift off, because whatever the people in charge are about to say, my guys will tell me later if it’s important.

“Attention! Attention up here, please. We have somespecial guestson board.” A loud microphone snaps me awake, but the way they say ‘special guests’ definitely indicates they’re not special. More like they pose a threat. “They’re looking for somebody very important to them, somebody they claim waswrongfully taken away, and they believe this person to be here. Is there a Miranda in here? Miranda from earth? If you don’t give yourself up, I don’t think ourspecial guestswill be very happy.”

They say special guests in that same tone again, making it feel less serious to be gathered at this hour. I’m looking around the room too, like I’ll magically spot this wanted person that is the current root of all my problems, because all I want is to climb back into bed. But no Mirandas are forthcoming, and then another voice takes over the microphone.

“I know you’re out there,” they snarl. And then their voice immediately changes to something sweeter, more pleasant. Something… very familiar. “Okay please, this is all a misunderstanding. Things shouldn’t have ended the way they did, and I’m prepared to make it up to you. I just need you to come back with me, so I know you’re safe. I’ve been worried sick.”

Something drops in my stomach, making my grip on Owiin’s arms that are wrapped around my middle go tighter. I have to kind of lean sideways around the giant aliens in front of me to see who’s on stage clearly, but when I finally get a glimpse, my jaw definitely drops to the floor. “What the hell? Why the fuck is he here?”

Kass’ hand on my leg squeezes a tiny bit. “You know him?”

“That’s the guy I was on a date with the night I contacted you guys. He sucked.”

“That’s not good,” Owiin points out. “Maybe keep your head down? We don’t want him to get it into his head that he can take you along with whoever this Miranda fellow is.”

“Miranda is probably a woman, but you’re right. He doesn’t need to know I’m here.” Honestly, I’m already sick of his face andI’ve only been looking at it for a few seconds. I spin, straddling Owiin’s lap so I can bury my face into his neck, silently begging for whoever this person is to step forward so the crazy man can go away.

Adeema gasps next to me, making us all dart our eyes around to see what he’s seeing. In the back corner of the huge room are some of the most terrifying creatures I’ve probably ever seen. Bipedal alligator humanoid hybrid things, with 80s style hair and clown makeup. They’re also wearing ballerina outfits with tutus, but that’s probably less important.

They’re starting to trickle through the crowds that are gathered, weaving in and out of benches while holding up some sort of tablet as they go.

“It looks like they’re using facial recognition to track down who they’re looking for,” Owiin tells us. “How the hell did that idiot up there get these guys to work for him? I wonder if these are the same ones that took down our last space station. And how did they even get on board? I thought this was supposed to be a secure station?”

The woman we met when we first landed, Charlotte, storms up to the stage next, looking furious. She grabs the microphone from Calvin, red in the face and pointing at him to leave the stage. Only once he’s off of it does she address us. “Apologies, friends. I’m sure many of you are wondering what’s going on, and I would like to give you some answers. I’m going to have a talk with this man over here and figure out how he was able to breach our defenses and find us, because the only way that would work is if he was tracking somebody that’s already here. Miranda, if you’re here, please come forward. I’m not going to let him take you against your will, I promise. We have security officers waiting to protect you. We just need to have aconversation, or maybe a negotiation, and then we will get our station back.”

Calvin doesn’t look happy about this, but his eyes are skimming furiously through the room, and I make the mistake of peeking out from Owiin’s neck at the wrong moment.

My eyes meet his, and even though there are hundreds of people in this room, he seems to recognize me and is immediately hopping over people and aliens alike like a damn acrobat, beelining his way towards me.

“Why is he coming over here? Did you tell this guy your name was Miranda, by chance?” Adeema asks as him and Kass get in front of me to block the way.

“No.”

We don’t have to wait long, but we definitely don’t make it easier on Calvin by meeting him halfway. He stands in front of us, nearly vibrating with rage, and I feel as if I should at least turn around so I can see him better. Don’t want a crick in my neck from twisting it too long anyway; a crick in the vagina is bad enough. Don’t need one on both ends.

“Why didn’t you present yourself? I gave you plenty of chances. You’re not going to like what happens now.” His misplaced irritation would be funny if I wasn’t worried about the threat his ballerina-loving green friends represent.

My mouth gapes open when I realize why he’s got such an attitude, then I start laughing. “Wait, did you think my name wasMiranda? Are you serious right now?”

“Don’t you dare play games with me. I know who you are, I know your name. You never called me after our date. I wasn’t done with you.”

“Except you don’t even know my name. My name’sMargaret, you dumbass. I don’t know anybody named Miranda.”

He looks less sure, slightly confused, but apparently is sticking with it. “Your name is Miranda.”

“Continue to speak to our mate this way and we will rip you apart, limb from limb. Her name is not Miranda, as she has told you. Therefore, she is not beholden to you in any way. Per our customs.”

My date that was bad enough to make me switch to aliens gets even redder in the face, and I gotta be honest here, I’m kind of hoping for an aneurysm. Maybe a heart attack. Wonder if those play out differently in space?

“I know the rules here. I know my rights. I filed an agreement, as befitting a human from earth. I am allowed to come and barter for a human who was taken here by accident. Tell them it’s an accident, Miranda.”

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