Page 79 of Fight Or Flight

A calm feeling washed over him as he completely shut down and disengaged. It was the same thing he felt when he saw Lindsay and Derek in the back of his truck. A refusal to care about someone who cared so little about him.

“I’m done.” He turned on his heel, started for the door.

“I made sure that your pond—”

He didn’t hear the rest of her words. Tuned her out as he walked out of the room, down the stairs, and outside.

When he got into his truck and turned it on, he started for home, but then he thought better of it. There was no way he could face his house now. It was filled with memories of her. And his bed . . .

He shook the memory off. As he glanced down at his key chain, the spare key Adam had given him caught the light and glinted at him. He made an abrupt U turn that caused several angry honks and headed toward North Shore Drive.

eighteen

“And that wraps up East Coast training!” Alira announced.

A cheer roared through the coach bus as it pulled up to a stop in front of the Sydney tour office. Natalie couldn’t bring herself to add to it, though. Landing in Sydney hadn’t felt nearly as triumphant as she imagined it would have, and the last two weeks of training had been a battle. But she knew that if she just kept moving, focusing on what was next, she’d be fine.

Being with a dozen other guides and drivers during the day was easier. They’d shared their adventures and gone to all the tourist hot spots and the off-the-beaten-path places Alira had curated into the trip to show their travellers. They’d tried amazing food and toured incredible landmarks. She’d even forced a smile in some pictures for her followers.

But it was in the quiet moments at night, alone in her hotel room, that her mind would haunt her. It always landed on the burned-in image of Ethan shutting down and walking away from her. It replayed the disappointment that had soaked through hisvoice when he asked whether she was going to leave without telling him.

She didn’t even want to think about how Chelsea would have felt, coming home to an empty house with cans of paint, ready to make it a home for Ben, and finding a note saying her sister had bailed on her and taken a huge loss on the house. She made every effort to block it out.

She knew what she did was right. Get out fast before anyone got hurt, let the lawyers work out the details so they could all move on. It was best for everyone. They were all getting what they’d wanted from the start. But it was brutal to feel this emptiness. It reminded her of the feeling after she lost her mother and knew she was alone.

Keep moving.

She stood from her seat, collected her things, and started filing off the bus with the others.

“Don’t forget to meet back here at six tonight,” Alira said. “We have reservations for dinner, and then we’re going out for some drinks to celebrate.”

Natalie nodded and forced a smile as she passed Alira and stepped down off the coach. She wasn’t in a celebratory mood, but it was part of her job to always be upbeat. She pulled out her phone and checked the time. Two o’clock. She had plenty of time to check into her hotel and find a party dress to wear out that night.

She thought back to the night her one-and-only party dress had broken and how the warmth of Ethan’s jacket had engulfed her.

“Natalie!”

She looked up and found Jess running toward her. She threw open her arms and grabbed Natalie in a big hug.

“I thought you weren’t coming in until tomorrow.”

Jess looked her up and down. A frown formed. “I took an earlier flight. I wanted to spend an extra day in Sydney before we leave on tour.”

Natalie nodded.

“Everything okay? You look . . . sad? I’ve never seen you sad before.”

She tried to pull the sides of her mouth into a smile, but it was way too much effort. “I’m fine. Alira made plans for dinner and drinks tonight. You in?”

“Absolutely.”

“Cool. I need to check into my hotel and buy a dress. I was going to go to the QVB. Do you want to come?”

Jess smiled. “Yeah, I want to see the Queen Victoria Building. I hear the shopping is amazing. Lead the way.”

They walked a block to the hotel, and Natalie filled Jess in on the training and told her about some things they’d see on tour. She checked in quickly, and then they hopped on a bus to the historic shopping mall. Natalie could feel Jess’s eyes on her the whole time, analyzing, questioning.

“So . . .” Jess started as they walked into the first store with dresses in the window. “How was Canada?”

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