Page 100 of Now or Never

“Have you all lost your fucking minds?”

They all looked up to find Uncle David staring at them all with a shocked look on his face.

“This isnothow this works.”

“Uncle David—”

“If Gracie were here right now, she’d slap you.”

Adam reared back.

“Love doesn’t just disappear when someone dies. It stays with you, coats you, like another layer of skin.”

Adam was already formulating a counter-argument, but his brain snagged on his uncle’s words, and eventually, they permeated through him.

Maybe he was right. Adam knew his mother loved him. And the love felt present, as if she were standing right there in the room with him, always.

He fell silent, wondering whether he’d got it all wrong. But still not convinced.

“Grace knew that giving her love away was the best thing to do, even when she got very sick. You’re doing what she didn’t do—leaving, hiding, and pushing people away. She gavemoreof her love, drowned you in it, so you’d always have it. If you love Chelsea and Ben, you should be spending your time giving as much love as you can to them.”

Adam shook his head but with less conviction now. “It’s different. My mom was healthy when she married my dad and had me.”

“That’s my point!” his uncle yelled. “You can’t predict what will happen in life.”

“I don’t think you understand what I mean,” Adam said.

“I understand what you mean, Adam. But you’re wrong. Look,” he said, coming closer. “Chelsea could move on from you and marry a perfectly healthy guy who could get hit by a car and die tomorrow. It’s not a question of how long, but how much.”

How much.

“Do you think anyone else could love her as much as you do?”

Adam looked down at his boots. He’d been miserable without getting to see her or talk to her or know how they were doing. He’d wanted to be there for them so badly. He’d thought he was sad because everything ended, but maybe it was just a whole ton of love that was bogging him down because he refused to give it away.

But still.

“It feels selfish,” he said.

“It’s sad that you feel that way, but I understand why. You’re extremely altruistic, just like Gracie was. You’d take a bullet for anyone in this room. We all know it. The problem is that you haven’t healed from seeing your mother die, and you’re trying to save Chelsea from feeling that pain.”

Adam’s eyebrows rose.

“You need to go back to therapy, Adam, and work all of this out properly.”

“I think he’s right,” Max said.

Adam turned to his friend, in shock that those words were coming out of Max’s mouth. “What?”

Max blew out a breath. “Well, it makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Adam looked around the room at all the heads nodding. He knew he was fucked up. He’d admitted it. Maybe talking to someone again would help. Having a relationship with Chelseawas so appealing that he would do almost anything. But he’d walked away from her, and she’d moved on.

“She told me I was like Jasper,” he said.

“You’re not,” Ethan said immediately. “You were maybe just acting a little like him. From her point of view.”

“She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me, and I told her no. In the hospital. When her son was in surgery,” he said, shaking his head. “How am I possibly going to come back from that?”

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