Page 64 of Now or Never

What did that mean? Clueless for thinking that? Or clueless for only realizing it now?

He got off the bed and went to her, pulling her into his arms. “Everything’s okay. Let’s not implode here. I think you’re just having a bit of post-nut clarity,” he said, trying for a joke to break the rising tension.

It didn’t work.

“It’s not okay. I don’t do this. I can’t have a baby with you. Oh, God . . .”

It was like a punch to the heart. He tried to shake it off, knowing she was just upset right now. But there was too much truth in the words, too much feeling, too much loss.

He stepped back, nodded. He’d just had the best sex of his life with the coolest girl he’d ever met, a girl that was quickly becoming one of his best friends, and she regretted it. Because she might end up pregnant with his baby.

He could almost hear his heart cracking.

“Adam,” Chelsea said, placing a hand on his arm. “I didn’t mean it like that. And I didn’t have sex with you because I thought you’d had a vasectomy. I’m just . . .”

When she trailed off, he filled in the blank. “Scared.”

Chelsea stared at him as if she was surprised that he’d say that, which was weird. Because she looked terrified.

“I think I just need a minute alone. Like, just to process. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” he said, walking to the door. Before he left, he stopped and glanced back. “I’m sorry.”

Chelsea shook her head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Adam turned and headed for his room. He sat down on the bed, put his elbows on his knees, face in his hands. Alone with his thoughts was the last place he wanted to be, because that’s when the what ifs would come.

What if she got pregnant?

What if I die before I meet my kid?

What if my kid finds me dead one morning, and he’s trying to wake me up, but he can’t?

What if he screams?

What if they call an ambulance?

What if he never recovers from that?

What if?

What if?

What if?

nineteen

Chelsea removed a lens from Vincent’s camera, placing it in a large black carrying case. She selected the one he’d asked for and twisted it in place, then turned the camera on and adjusted. He was busier than usual that day and had given Chelsea a list of things he’d needed help with.

She didn’t mind.

It was amazing to see his process, to understand why he was doing what he was doing. And it gave her something to do to keep her eyes from drifting across the lawn and staring at Adam.

It had been two weeks since the boning, but when she closed her eyes, she could still feel him. Still hear him. Still taste him.

She’d thought she was just worried that she might be pregnant, so she’d gone to the dollar store, bought ten pregnancy tests, and took one each day, just to be certain. When the first test she took came back negative, she thought she’d be relieved.

But she wasn’t.

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