Page 94 of Now or Never

But it ended up more like the shower scene fromPsycho.

She ignored her failure and pulled Ben into a tight hug. “I know you fall, but it’s worth it in the end. You can’t just settle for less. You’ll never be happy. Believe me, I tried.”

Suddenly, Jae cleared her throat and stood. “Can I talk to you? In the kitchen? Now?”

Chelsea nodded. She hit Play on the remote, and the next movie started up. Then she followed Jae into the kitchen.

“Yes?”

“His bike is just like our movie.”

Chelsea raised an eyebrow.

“He’s settling. You’re settling. Everyone’s settling.”

Chelsea stared at Jae, trying to get her mind to shift from her personal problems to her work ones. She’d only thought about her work problems sparingly since the surgery. She’d pushed them to the back of her mind, not sure how to deal with Jasper. She was so incredibly angry at how he treated her when she got that call, but did she really want to quit the first and only job she’d ever had on a set?

That didn’t seem like a smart career move.

“What do you really want, Chelsea?” Jae asked, eyes imploring. “Be honest.”

Chelsea stared down at her hands. She knew the answer; she just didn’t want to admit it. It was too hard. “I want what I’ve always wanted.”

“To be second AD on Jasper’s set?”

Chelsea shuddered. “No.”

“Exactly,” Jae said. “You always wanted to be an indie filmmaker. You always wanted to write and direct our films, our way. And you’ve let life, and fucking Jasper, beat you down to where you’re settling for a scooter.”

Chelsea stared at Jae as she did a mental inventory of her life.

Career? Disaster.

Relationship? Extreme disaster.

Example she was setting for Ben?

Her shoulders slumped.

Maybe Jae had a point. But at some point, you had to set aside your pie-in-the-sky dreams and steep yourself in reality.

“I just delayed my dreams,” Chelsea said. “One day, I’ll—”

“No,” Jae cut her off. “You scootered.”

Chelsea stared at her for a moment, wondering whether she was right. She glanced over at Ben on the couch and knew she would never let him give up on riding a bike. She would encourage him to keep trying for what he really wanted. It was probably a little hypocritical to encourage him to do what he wanted when she put off doing what she wanted. What would she say to him if he were her age and trying to decide on a career?

She’d tell him that the harder things are, the more worth it they are in the end.

Easy isn’t necessarily better.

“I scootered,” she said, plopping onto a chair.

Jae nodded and left the room, returning a second later with a pad of paper and a pen.

Come to think of it, she’d been scootering like a motherfucker. The only things she hadn’t scootered were things she really loved about her life. Like her house and Ben’s school.

“I scootered with the film set. I should have told them to beat it the moment I saw Jasper. He is such a turd.”

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