Page 94 of Love or Leave

Antonio nodded and turned, walking back out the front door and dropping onto a varnished Adirondack chair. The chair wanted to force him to relax, but he couldn’t. He sat awkwardly at its edge with his back uncomfortably bent forward and his elbows on his knees.

Rain fell in cold, icy sheets, and the broken corner of the eavestrough he’d never gotten around to fixing sent a steady gush of water pouring off the porch roof into the soaked grass below.

Fran followed his lead and sat down opposite him. "I guess I can take it you don't want to move back, considering you can't even stand inside for five minutes."

Antonio shook his head.

"Is it because of Blake? Because he was here?"

"No," he said, scrubbing both hands up and down his face. "I forgot all about that, actually. Is that why you want to get back together?"

Fran's eyes welled up, and she looked away from him, toward the street. She'd always tried to hide her tears from him.

"I don't know, maybe," she said, her voice distant and broken. "Maybe I made a mistake breaking us up, like you said."

Antonio huffed an exhausted breath, but as it escaped, it became a laugh. He was completely flabbergasted.How was this actually happening?

Fran screwed her eyes shut. "How can you laugh right now?"

"Because this is so fucked," he said, trying to pull his emotions in, "it's hardnotto see the humor in it."

Fran sniffed and pulled her sweater around her neck. "I don't find anything funny about this."

"I'm not surprised," he said, assessing her. "We never saw eye to eye, did we?"

Fran looked down at her toes. "That's not true. We have a lot in common. Our families are best friends, same traditions, same cultures. We're attracted to each other."

Antonio stared at her, waiting. "Right. And that's where it ends."

Fran sat back in her seat and crossed her hands in her lap.

"How could we have expected to be happy for sixty years based on that?" Antonio asked. Everything finally made sense. "Staying together means too many sacrifices… for both of us."

"I think I'm ready for the things you want," she said in a small voice. "To start a family."

The words were like a net falling over him, trapping him inside. They were the exact words he'd been longing to hear from the moment he finished his residency.

But the last few weeks had really highlighted all the problems beyond just that. Having a child together would only make things worse. He honestly believed they'd both dodged a huge, ugly, destructive bullet.

"We should never have a baby together."

"Why?" Fran asked.

Antonio's mind immediately landed on Cara, and just the thought of her made his shoulders relax. Being around her felt right, everything clicked into place. He knew that they were right for each other. They would see eye to eye on things that he and Fran would never.

"I'm a square peg and you're a round hole. We just don't work," he said, looking back at her. "Do you really think you made a mistake, Fran?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I'm not sure."

Antonio nodded. "I had myself convinced that we were perfect for each other, but I don't think that anymore. On the surface, it seems good. But in real life, it's exhausting."

Fran sniffed. "This would be a lot easier if you were a drunk like my sister’s ex."

Antonio nodded. "That's probably why it’s been so hard. There was never one big issue that made divorce feel justified. But you were right to end it. Neither of us wants to spend the rest of our lives unhappy."

Fran looked out across the front lawn and shook her head.

"I'm sorry I wouldn't let go," he said.

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