Page 11 of Not Your Body

“Show us the videos.” Mandy rarely spoke in the group. A victim of incest, her trauma went back to her childhood when not only one but multiple male members of her family had begun molesting her at age seven. The abuse had gone on throughout her teen years. She didn’t escape until she graduated high school and left home. Now, years later, the men in her family'sholdon her remained to some degree. With the help of the group, she’d managed to cut all ties with her family for fear of being drawn back into the abuse.

“I-I don’t want to see the videos,” Lisa whispered.

“Weneedto see them,” Mandy insisted, her voice shaking. “We… we sit in this group every day where… where it’s safe. But we’re not safe. Not out there. We need to remember what’s out there so we can… so we can be prepared.”

“What?” Lisa choked. “Prepared forwhat?We can’t do anything about it. They can do whatever they want to us.” Tears welled. “We don’t have rights anymore—andtheyknow it.”

Jade glanced at Nina. Twenty-nine. African American, Native American heritage. She sat quietly, staring at the floor. She had spent her teenage years in a group home for troubled girls. The racist men who ran the place had taken liberties with Nina which left her damaged on many levels.

“Nina?” Jade murmured. “The videos?”

Nina raised her head. The vacant look that often dominated her dark eyes now simmered with heat. “I agree with Mandy,” she whispered. “We need to know.”

“Why?” Lisa asked with a note of desperation. “It doesn’t matter what weknow—they’ll always win. They alwaysdo.”She made a sweeping gesture around the small group. “We, of all people, should know that.” Tears clogged her voice. “We’re all victims. We alllost.Theybeatus—literally—and we couldn’t do a damned thing about it becausewe don’t matter.”Lisa buried her face in her hands, crying softly. “We’llnevermatter. We’ll always bevictims.”

Jade felt her pain. Hopelessness—helplessness—was a horrible, crippling feeling. “Anyone who wants to see the videos can do so.” She looked at Lisa. “But you don’t have to watch.”

Lisa remained seated as the other women gathered around Jade. Watching—listening—to the videos again wasn’t something Jade looked forward to. But maybe she needed it as much as the others because it kept the horror fresh. And to do what had to be done… the horror needed to stayfresh.

As the unthinkable poured out of the phone, Lisa left her chair and joined the group. Jade wrapped her arm around the young woman and pressed her lips to her hair as tears fell… and fury mounted.

Lisa returned to her chair, practically curling into a ball. Kim sat with her and held her. If Jade wasn’t there, Kim was the“leader”. Three years older than Jade, Kim possessed a strong personality and presence, much like Jade. Kim was sexually assaulted at a frat party during her freshman year in college—by a couple of rich boys with rich daddies with the best attorneys. Kim had joined a women’s activist group focused on bringing awareness to the high number of sexual assaults that happen on campuses. But it did little to prevent the entitled boys from taking what they wanted. It was the golden rule all over again; Those with the gold made the rules.

“What did the sheriff say when you showed her the videos?” Barb asked, visibly agitated.

“Nothing,” Jade said. “I didn’t tell her about the videos.” The mention of Sheriff Hunt sent a funny tickle through Jade’s belly button. She shook it off, not fully understanding the cause.

“Why not?” Mandy asked.

Jade looked at the women who had become more than just group supporters. They were her friends. As they’d shared their pain, trauma, and fears, their bond had grown, drawing them into a tight-knitfamily.She trusted these women with her life.

“For the same reason we’re all here,” Jade said. “For the same reason we have amonsterat the head of our country.” She swallowed as her pulse quickened. “Becauseentitledmen aren’t held accountable. Not by society. Not by the law. Not by the justice system. We watched a convicted felon, arapist,a liar, a traitor—take control of this nation.Placedin control by the people of this nation. Because of him… my sister is dead. So, no. I won’t put my trust in a twisted legal system that caters to wealthy white men. Our country doesn’t punish these types of men—they put them inpower.”

Nina gazed uncertainly at Jade. “What’re you going to do?”

Until that moment, Jade’s plan had subsided only in the abstract. But that one question spoken aloud brought it into focus.

“I’m going to find them,” Jade murmured with a dull edge. “And hold them accountable.”

The women exchanged cautious looks. Barb stepped forward. “You’ll need help.”

“I will.”

“I’ll help,” Barb said. “I’m done running.”

One by one, the other women joined Barb.

Lisa, alone, remained detached. Jade approached her and sat down, hugging the young woman. “It’s okay,” Jade whispered. “You don’t have to do this.” She kissed Lisa’s head. “Know that what we’re doing isn’t only for Amy and Jasmine… it’s for all of us. For all the women out there, whose abusers got away with hurting them.” Jade hugged her closer, tears and rage constricting her throat. “No more. They want to hurt us—we’ll hurt them right back.” She swallowed hard. “It goes both ways.”

AFTER

The Reason Why

“You should have told me about the videos.” Kate withdrew from the young woman’s tempting touch and walked to the fireplace. “Ms. Palm—”

“Jade.”

Kate breathed in slowly and faced the woman. “Jade…” Their eyes locked and Kate’s heartbeat spiked.What is it about this woman?Whatever it was—this was the last conversation Kate wanted to have with her. She didn’t want to know that this young woman who affected her so deeply andintimatelyhad committed such a brutal crime.

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