Page 18 of A More Than Mayhem Christmas

Now we’ve all grown up, some of us are married, or very close to it, and Cam and Lucy even have a daughter, and I…. I feel like I’ve grown apart from the rest of them.

Sure, the physical distance doesn’t help, but it’s not just that. My connection to all of them was Dylan, and we broke up almost a decade ago. We both moved on. He married Riley, and I…

I honestly don’t even know why theywantto keep me around.

I’m not being self-deprecating, believe me. I’m just… incredibly self-aware of the situation I’m about to walk into. If I felt like an outsider all those years ago while I wasdatingDylan, you can only imagine how I feel today.

The front of the cabin has enough clearing for at least ten cars, so I find a spot to park that makes for an easy escape. I don’t plan on staying long. My headlights shine on the front porch, illuminating Jake and Logan standing opposite each other, their heads bowed, clearly in a deep conversation. They glance in my direction, right before Jake hands Logan something small enough that Logan can shove deep in his jeans pocket. I narrow my eyes, confused, but only for a moment. Anyone who saw the interaction might assume it’s a comical drug deal, but considering their professions and the likelihood they’d get drug tested, I’m going to go with some ridiculous form of mayhem.

I step out of the car at the same time Jake and Logan make their way down the porch steps. “Heidi!” Jake greets. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Logan points to the stain on his chest, then his head. “We’d give you a hug, but…”

I scrunch my nose. “Which one of you smells like tuna?”

“That would be me,” Jake answers, and I nod, put on a smile as I pop open my trunk.

“Give me a hand?” I ask, taking out one of Katie’s gifts and handing it to Jake. Then another, and another, and another.

“Jeez,” Logan says, as I hand him his own stack. “You going for favorite auntie award?”

“Something like that.” The truth is, I don’t have many people in my life I buy gifts for, and shopping is probably the one thing I’m actually good at. Since the gang decided to stop doing Christmas gifts for each other a few years back, not even Secret Santa, then the only other people I shop for are my parents. Their gifts are back home, under the Christmas tree, still unopened.

I grab the trays of food I’d spent the afternoon making. I wasn’t asked to bring anything; I just… had nothing better to do. And besides, if I was going to be here, I felt it necessary that I contributesomething.

“Assuming y’all get drug tested, I would probably stay away from the brownies,” I quip, juggling the trays in my arms so I can shut the trunk.

“Is it your mom’s recipe?” Logan asks.

“Sure is.”

“Dang, why you gotta tempt me like this?”

We don’t speak as we make our way into the house. Nohow are you?Orwhat have you been up to?I can’t be mad about it. I don’t ask them either. The second we step into the house, I’m immediately hit with the scent of cookies, most likely still in the oven.

The girls are sitting on the floor, Lucy covered in plastic leaves with only her face exposed. She has a drink in her hand, yelling something heated about what I assume are characters in a book. The other girls argue back, their voices loud and passionate. I’m taken back to my college years, when the girls had weekly book clubs, and I… I wasn’t much of a reader.

I’m still not.

“We found a stray,” Logan announces, and my chest tightens at his words. I know he didn’t mean anything by it, but it’s exactly how I feel. How I’ve felt for years.

Dylan appears from the kitchen, followed closely by Cameron—who’s wearing an apron with a picture of a grill that says, “Once you put my meat in your mouth, you’re going to want to swallow.” He approaches, a giant grin on his face. A second later, I’m enveloped in his arms, and then immediately after, pushed to the side. He smashes an egg directly on Logan’s face.

I bust out a giggle as Logan grunts, “Goddamn it!”

The girls greet me the same way—without the egg part, and Lucy says, “We weren’t sure if you were going to make it.”

Right.

I never actually confirmed I was coming because I didn’t know if I was. Meaning, I didn’t know if Iwantedto. Obviously, I don’t tell her that. “And miss out on seeing y’all? No way.”

Dylan’s the last to greet me. Or his version of a greeting, anyway. “Hey, Heids,” he says. “I’m going to need to pat you down.”

“What?”

Beside him, Riley sighs. “Nothing has happened to him yet,” she explains. “So now he’s super paranoid.”

My eyes widen. “Like I have a bomb strapped to me or something?”

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