Page 134 of Liam

“That I’m fucking terrified,” I answer truthfully. “I tell you I love you and you don’t say it back, and that’s fine. It’s not that I need you to or that I expect you to, but I at least want to know that we’re in the same book, if not the same page. You haven’t even brought it up since. And not only that, but I’ve been in this fucking limbo ever since you told me about Pierson.Didyou wait for him? Are you going back to him now? What would’ve happened if he didn’t contact you? Would you have called him? Do youwanta relationship with him?”

“Liam…” She’s crying.

And I don’t know if she’s crying for me or her, but I don’t think it matters anymore. I wish I could comfort her somehow, but she wanted me to talk, and now that I have, I can’t seem to stop.

Selfish.

But also, maybe not—because I’ve held on to these feelings for weeks, kept them locked away until now. And maybe it’s too soon for her to hear all of this, but maybe—maybe I need assurance, too. “You know what the worst part is?” I mutter. “My head is so fucked up, I can’t stop thinking about how much it’s going to ruin me when you leave. And I’m not saying you’re going to leave me for him, but even if you stay with me, how am I supposed to live up to that—toa white knight who waswilling to give up his life for you? And say we do goall in…am I just supposed to ignore that it happened at all? Because a year from now, the questions are still going to be there. Do you regret choosing me? Do you at least question it? Do you compare what life he could’ve given you over what you chose?”

“Liam…” Her eyes drift shut, allowing the tears to fall from her closed lids.

“And what happens when the summer’s over, Addie? Have you even thought about it? You go back to Raleigh and I stay here and what? I drive four hours south to see you whenever you have time for me? When you’re not livingyourlife? What the fuck do we do? What the fuck doIdo? Because Iwantthis to work. And I wantyou?—”

“I’m right here!” she almost shouts, her eyes snapping open. “Jesus, Liam. You think I haven’t thought aboutanyof this? You don’t thinkI’minsecure? You don’t think I worry that my past—my parents, the accident, all myfuckingtrauma isn’t too much for you? ThatI’mtoo much for you? Yes, I’ll go back to Raleigh, and every day we’re apart, I’ll be scared that you’re going to leave me for a girl who doesn’t have as much bullshit baggage as I do! And worse, I won’t even be mad about it, because you deserve someone so much better than me. Someone who didn’t ruin your fucking life. You’ll have your insecurities about Pierson, and I’ll have that—myregrets—somethingIcaused. But you know what? I’m willing to live with those insecurities, even if it hurts every damn day, because you’re worth it. For a lifetime. A year. A single summer. A single heartbeat.Youare worth everyth—” She cuts off when I tug on her arm, pulling her close enough so I can lift her onto my lap and claim her mouth with mine.

The kiss is frantic, sloppy, nothing but needy, heated passion urging us on. We break apart so she can remove my shirt, then meet again for only a moment before I’m ripping off hers. I groan when she unhooks her bra, pushes out her chest as aninvitation. My mouth covers her nipple, tongue flicking against the peak. She surges forward at the sensation, her back arching, hips grinding, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I grab her ass,hard, tugging her closer until the warmth of her center presses against my cock. “Shit, Liam,” she breathes out, pulling away.

I frown.

“You did all the touching the past two times.” Then she smirks. “Tonight, it’s my turn.” I stay frozen when she crawls backward, between my legs, then dips her head, licking a line from the band of my shorts up to my chest. She smiles when she looks up at me. “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you shirtless.”

I bite my lip, adjust the raging erection tenting my shorts. “Addie…”

She kneels up, and I swear, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as sexy as the way she lowers her shorts and underwear in one move, throws them aside. I try to swallow, but my throat’s too dry. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her naked, but there’s something different aboutherbeing in control. I reach out, smiling when she spreads her legs wider for me. I slowly run a finger along her slit, let her pleasure soak through my flesh. My eyes drop from hers to her bare pussy only inches away. I lick my lips, craving the taste of her.

“No,” she says, and my eyes snap to hers again. “If I recall correctly, you once had a dream about me, where I’m on my knees,exactlylike I am right now.” She digs her fingers into the waistband of my shorts, and I lift slightly so she can remove them completely. I settle back against the side of the van while she licks her lips, looks from my hard cock and up to my eyes. Then she leans down, resting on her forearms. My cock throbs when she circles her hand around it, then again when she lowers her mouth. She stops just before she makes contact, her eyes lifting to mine. “Tell meexactlywhat I was doing to you.”

My chest heaves, my breaths short, sharp, trying to find oxygen to cool the fire pumping through my veins. “Exactly?” I ask.

“Exactly.”

I replace her hand on my dick, then I reach out with the other, lacing my fingers through her hair and tugging gently. She moans in response, her eyes rolling. I guide her head until her mouth meets the head of my cock and tap once. “Open up, baby.”

She does as I ask—the warmth of her mouth causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head. It’s too much—the feel of her tongue, the vision in front of me. Addie, naked, on her knees with her ass in the air, her lips thinned around me as she takes in more of me. My muscles tense, my fingers curling in her hair, digging into her scalp. “Shit, Addie.”

She pulls back, releasing me completely. “Show meexactlyhow you like it.”

“Fuck.” I fist her hair, push her down until I hit the back of her throat, hold her there for just a second. Two. Pull her back. “Good?”

“So good.” She runs her tongue from the base to the tip, her eyes never leaving mine. “I can’t wait for you to fuck me.”

“Jesus, Addie.” I pull her up by her waist until she’s straddling my lap again. “You can blow me later,” I murmur against her shoulder, holding her up just enough to line up my cock against her pussy. “Shit. Condom.”

Hands on my shoulders, she lowers herself until I’m at her entrance. “Just one time,” she says, almostpleads.Her eyes drift shut when she adds,“I just want to feel you inside me.”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it’s wrong. I know she’s giving me control, and I should stop it here. Make sure we’re safe. Make sure she’s ready—emotionally. But—“Fuck it.” I guide her down, just an inch. My head throws back inpleasure, slamming against the side of the van. “Fuck, you feel so good,” I murmur into her neck. “So warm. So goddamn tight.”

She circles her arms around me, holding on as she lowers herself even more. “Addie,” I warn.

“All of it,” she whispers. “Fuck, Liam, I want to feelallof you.”

I push up at the same time she bares down, and we pause there, trying to catch our breaths. It’s so much of everything, all at once. And then she starts grinding, doubling down, and I force myself to stay still. “So good,” she whispers, riding my cock for her own pleasure. I grab her ass tighter, help with the movements. “Oh, God,” she repeats, over and over, and I do everything I can to hold back my release. “Liam,” she whispers. “I can’t…”

“I got you, baby.” Without separating us, I guide her until she’s on her back, her legs wrapped around my hips. I give myself a moment to breathe, to settle the racing of my heart, to get control of my body. But it only makes things worse, because now I can see her… all of her. From the strands of hair stuck to the sweat on her forehead, and her eyes—the gold flecks that diminish the darkness, her lips—red, raw, wet, and her body… goddamn, her body. Perfect tits made for grabbing, licking, biting. I do just that, thrusting into her. I pull back, just so I can reach between us, thumb her pussy at the spot I know she likes to be licked. Her back arches, her head falling to the side, eyes shutting tight as the heels of her feet dig into my back.

“Oh fuck!” She moans loudly with her release, her pussy pulsing around me, and with all the restraint I have left, I wait until the waves have passed before pulling out.

She lifts her head, her eyes tired as she watches me finishonher. “Fuck,” I breathe out, wiping her clean with my shirt before collapsing on my back beside her.

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