Page 78 of Liam

But—

Slivers of light have to exist in order to know what darkness is. Just like light has to exist in order to create shadows. And maybe that light isn’t blindingly bright. Maybe it’s something you have to search for… like a faded memory, or a whisper of hope, or understanding and acceptance. Or… maybe it’s someone who makes you realize there’s depth to the darkness. And maybe that someone’s sitting right next to me.

I look out over the field, my mind flooding with memories of better days. Memories that included Addie. “I’ve been thinking lately—about how much of an illusion time is,” I murmur. “One second I’m a kid, without a care in the world, and the next I’m… this. Whateverthisis. I just want a piece of that feeling back, you know? And maybe yo-yos aren’t the answer, but maybe it’s a start.”

“Maybe it’s a start,” she repeats in a whisper, facing forward, giving me the perfect view of her profile. The sun’s turned her eyes the color of honey, and I die inside every time she blinks, restricting my access to them. She heaves out a breath before turning to me. “This is so random, but… I have this memory of you. I’m sure you don’t remember. I mean, you’d remember, but for different reasons…”

“Are you going to tell me, or do you have an edging kink?”

“No kink,” she says. “And I don’t even know what that means.”

“It’s—” I shake my head. It’s irrelevant. “Tell me the memory.”

“Okay. So… in third grade, we were in the nurse’s office together?—”

“Oh, I remember.” How could I forget? I’m surprised she remembers, though.

“Yeah, because you’d just broken your arm.”

“No,” I say, shifting my gaze forward. I can already feel the heat at the base of my neck, but I try to push through the nerves. “I remember because it was the first time I ever spoke to you.”

“What?” She nudges my side. “No, we’d spoken before that. Surely…”

“Nope. Not directly.” I face her again. “We were in the same class, played on the same team, but I was always intimidated by how pretty you were, so…”

“Liam…”

I shrug. “I remember sitting opposite you in that room, and I kept looking at you, then looking away.” I laugh at the memory. “And I wanted to say something,anything.I just had all these words running through my head, and I couldn’t verbalize a single one. Then when you were leaving, I finally found the courage, and said?—”

“I hope you feel better, Addie.”

I smile full force.

She smiles back—genuine this time—and it lights up the flecks of gold in her irises.

“What were you in there for?”

She breaks our stare. “I don’t want to ruin the memory,” she says through a sigh.

“Why? What happened?”

Her shoulders lift with her shrug. “I had a stomachache because I hadn’t eaten in days. My parents had disappeared three days earlier. That’s why Roman picked me up.”

“Shit, Addie,” I mumble, the sudden ache in my chest making it hard to see straight.

If I’d known…

If she’d said something…

If I had the courage to speak to her earlier, maybe…

“You know we were right around Benny’s age then,” she says, looking out at the field. I follow her gaze. “Look at him.” Benny’s on the sidelines, still dancing and laughing with the few teammates who have stuck around.

“You brought fun back into the game for him,” I tell her. “For me, too.”

She faces me. “Yeah?”

I nod, match her smile. “I’m telling you. It’s The Addie Effect.”

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