Page 89 of Liam

“No, to fucking Thailand, dickhead.”

He chuckles. “I have my reasons.”

“Are the reasonsme?” I’m not naïve enough to downplay the effect ofmylifestyle on his, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to be him. He has a twin brother who’s a practical shut-in, rarely leaves the property, has never left thestate, and not only that, but weworktogether. And that work requires both our physical presence. At Linc’s silence, I add, “You don’t feel you need to stay here for me, right?”

Linc heaves out a breath, kicking out his legs and getting more comfortable. “So, I read this book once…”

“You don’t read.”

“Okay. I watched this documentary.”

“You don’t have the attention span?—”

“Fine. I watched a five-minute video…”

“Go on…”

“Basically… when something unexpected happens to one twin at a young age, like they die?—”

“Christ. I’m notdead.”

“Just listen.” He waits a beat, watches as I press my lips together. “If one twin dies at a young age, the likelihood of the surviving twin experiencing some form of trauma is high. It’scalledtwin lonelinessor something. It’s like a persistent feeling of loss or searching for a replacement.”

“You want toreplaceme?”

“Would you shut the fuck up?”

“My bad.”

“Anyway…” he huffs out. “That trauma also affects brain development that leads to mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, drug use. The works…”

“I don’t…”I don’t understand where he’s going with this.

“Think about it,” he says. “When twins grow up and grow old, marry and create their own families, that trauma isn’t there, because they’ve experienced the steps to get them to that point. Twinsneedto go through an emotional separation, and they need to go through it together.”

“Right…”

“The thing is, I knowyou’reready for that and you have been for a while…” His eyes meet mine, not a single question hidden beneath them. “But I’m just—I’m not there yet, Liam.”

“I’m not?—”

“I know you better than you know yourself,” he cuts in, and it’s true. He does. “You’ve been pulling away for a while now. Away from our work. Away fromme.And?—”

“I—” My gaze drops as his words spin circles in my mind. I guess I never saw it as that, but maybe he’s right. “I didn’tmeanto.”

“There’s nothingwrongwith it,” he assures. “But that’s why I’ve been working hard on other ventures, so I can find my own place in this world without you.”

My chest tightens at the thought. “That’s not what I want.” Notexactly.

“Maybe not. But maybe it’s what we need, you know? I can’t just follow you around forever.” He shrugs. “Besides”—he cracks a smile—“I’d make a horrible fireman.”

I laugh through my conflicting emotions. “Yeah, I wouldn’t make the best bell pepper either.”

He chuckles. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, yeah? Five years of photographic evidence dated October thirty-first prove otherwise.”

He stands, stretches out his arms. “I had the cutest bell pepper costume in town.”

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