Page 95 of Liam

“No.” I shake my head. “I’ll walk.” I could use the air. Use the time alone to wrap my head around everything.

He nods, tapping on the door once. “Again, I’m sorry for everything that happened in the past, but I gotta be honest with you, man. Addie wasn’t swinging that bat at my truck. Or even at me.” He pauses a beat. “She was swinging it at herself.”

35

Addie

I wanted to go home.

The moment Roman threw my ass back into his truck and sped away from the golf course, reality hit, and boy, was it kind to me.

Not.

I’m pretty sure I blacked out for most of my rage-fueled outburst, because I onlyvaguelyremember the feeling of the bat in my hands, the crunching of metal beneath my feet, and the sound of glass shattering…

The only thing I can distinctly recall is Roman’s voice telling me, “That’s enough!”

I don’t remember the car ride home or taking the steps up to his apartment. I don’t even remember what I felt the moment I saw two uniformed officers waiting just outside our door, one of them being Leo Preston…

I wanted to go home then as much as I want to go home now, but going home meant having to explain the reasons to Dayna and Griffin, and I wasn’t ready to do that either.

So, I’m here, stuck in Roman’s apartment, where I have been for the past five days, too ashamed to show my face in public. Not even for me, but forRoman.

I’d bet all the money in the world he regrets inviting me here.

It wouldn’t besobad if video evidence didn’t exist, but, alas, it does, and now I’ll forever be known as the girl who lost her shit at a bougie-ass golf course and took a bat to some guy’s truck.

Or maybe I’m the girl whose brother went to prison for dealing drugs and was sent off to a foster home because no one couldfindmy parents.

Or maybe I’m the girl who showed up to school looking and smelling like absolute shit because she didn’t know how to care for herself.

Or, worse than all the above, maybe I’m the girl who spread insanely hurtful rumors about the kindest boy in the world simply because she thought it would protect her from… what? Losing her brother?

“That turned out fucking peachy,” I mumble, then look around the empty apartment.

I’ve lost my mind, and pages upon pages of journal entries haven’t seemed to help.

I can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Can’t force myself to face my own brother. When he’s here, I’m in my—his—room. When he’s not, I wander around the apartment pretending as though I have a reason to be here.

I don’t.

I should leave. Go home. Tell Dayna and Griffin the truth instead of the lies I’ve been feeding them for days—that everything’sfine. Work is good. Roman’s good. I’m good. “Everything’sgood,” I say. Out loud. To no one.

I should go home, but Ican’t. Dayna and Griffin will want to talk—specifically about my “future.” About the fact that the state cut funding for my school—a little nugget they dropped onme in a phone call that took place about a minute after the cops left the apartment. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry aboutmyplacement, as long as I didn’t want to play softball anymore. Yep. The school had to make cuts, and the girls’ teams were the first to go. Not just softball.Allof them. To be fair, we were bringing in negative revenue, so it makes sense, but is also means that Griffin is out of a job.

Good times.

They told me a couple of days ago and made me promise not to tell the girls in the group chat until it was official. It became official this morning. My phone’s been going off since, but I haven’t bothered to check it.

My stomachgrowls, but I ignore it.

Punishment for my crimes.

Maybe that’s what my parents did when they fled and left me with nothing.

Punishment for my crimes.

I’m crying.

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