Page 79 of Destroyer

“Why didn’t you say something?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to frighten you unnecessarily,” Fen said. “I hoped I was wrong.”

He wouldn’t meet her gaze now; he had turned to stare at his hands, the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but Ru.

“Fen,” she said, afraid to utter the words: “do you still trust me?”

“Yes.” His answer came so easily. “Of course.”

“Why?” she asked, hesitant. “I mean, trust you. I trust you to help me study the artifact, and I trust you to keep this… this knowledge to yourself, whatever it is, whatever it means. I trust you with everything, Fen. But why should you return that trust? I hardly trustmyself, not with that stone—” She cut herself off, afraid that one more word would set loose a flood of tears.

He reached for her, his fingers gently bracketing her chin, turning her head to face him. His gaze was steady, clear. “I would have done everything the same, in your shoes. And I repay trust, given freely, in kind.”

She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.

“Promise me something, Ru.”

“Hmm?” Fen’s touch relaxed her, comforted her in a way that no one else had ever done. She was fading fast, the need for rest, for a dreamless sleep, overtaking her. But she couldn’t bear to be alone, not when Fen’s presence was such a balm.

His fingers tightened on her jaw, ever so slightly. “Don’t take a risk like that again.”

He shouldn’t have to ask, shouldn’t have to force a promise from her. “You know I won’t.”

“Promise me.”

She let out a slow, exhausted exhale. “I shouldn’t have to say it, but I promise.”

He relaxed, letting his hand fall.

“Fen,” she said, still reeling from everything that had happened, the words they’d spoken, the touches they shared. “What happened between us…”

“I was worried,” he said, almost too quickly. He ran his fingers through dark hair. “Overcome with emotion.”

“Is that all it was?” Ru studied his profile, that handsomely arched nose, the purse of his lips, his clenched jaw. She could ask him outright, voice the nagging question that had been on her mind since the artifact’s haze subsided: Did he feel it too? The artifact, its wild frenzy of emotion? Had it somehow extended beyond her at that moment, warping Fen’s actions as much as her own? But… she was ashamed. Afraid to admit her own vulnerability, the undeniable power the artifact held over her.

“I didn’t sleep well last night,” he said, turning to glance at her. His eyes were like dark glass. “I was on edge, and I behaved in an ungentlemanly manner. I apologize for the way I…” He cleared his throat. “I was frightened for you. And angry at myself, wishing I’d been able to help you, to protect you from the artifact.”

It was a reasonable but inadequate explanation. Ru saw a shadow in his eyes and she knew he was hiding something, holding back.

“I wasn’t myself either,” she said. They would each pretend everything was fine, then, and move on. As if it had all been nothing. As if his mouth on her skin, his hands on her waist, had been nothing.

She longed, suddenly, for him to touch her. To tuck her unruly hair behind her ear as he’d done in his room, to take her in his arms, and… she stopped the thought there. That strange moment when they’d come here tonight, the fire in her belly, it had all been the artifact. Hadn’t it? But what she had felt that night on Fen’s bed, what she felt now, those feelings were pure, all hers.

“Ru…” He moved toward her, catching her gaze with his.

Something tightened in her stomach, a knot of excited nerves, and it had nothing to do with the artifact. Her eyes flicked down to his lips, slightly parted. Fen. He had been her colleague, her friend, her protector, her companion. He had tumbled into her life as unexpectedly as the artifact, yet, she couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. His solid presence, his laugh, the way he smelled like winter snow.

And here he was on her bed, so familiar, yet her heart was pounding, her breaths uneven.

“Fen,” she said, smiling slightly.

And then, as if he’d read her mind, he gently brushed her hair away from her face, his hand lingering.

A thunderous knocking at the door startled them apart, and Fen leaped from the bed like a startled animal. Before they could react further, the door swung open and Archie and Gwyneth burst in.

“Ru, thank god,” Gwyneth gasped, seeing that Ru was perfectly healthy. “We’ve been absolutelymadwith worry, but the Children wouldn’t stop asking questions, made us write out the whole thing—”

“In painful detail, might I add,” Archie cut in, eyeing Ru and Fen, no doubt noting their proximity, the fact that Ru was on the bed. “Including a description of your eyes rolling back in your head before you hit the floor.”

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