Page 59 of Sanctifier

“What preoccupies you?” The question was soft, unassuming in nature but not, Ru thought, intent.

She finally met Lady Bellenet’s questioning gaze. The woman’s youthful face was in full, radiant display that afternoon; her hair pulled back in a simple coil. She wore little makeup and a simple gown.

There was no reason for Ru’s primal terror of the woman, the sickly swoop in her gut, and the tingle at the back of her neck. At least, Ru tried to remind herself of that — the solstice was not yet upon them. Weeks remained. And Lady Bellenet wouldn’t harm Ru, not the conduit, the Keeper.

But Lady Bellenet frightened her despite all this. She was the woman who held the kingdom in thrall, who paraded Regent Sigrun about like a puppet, who held Hugon D’Luc’s leash in delicate hands.

“My apologies,” Ru said, hoping fervently that her expression was light and pleasant. “I’m still recovering from last night’s revelries.”

Lady Bellenet smiled proudly. “Wasn’t it a feast for the senses! I do hope you enjoyed yourself. Though…” her smile faded slightly, “I wish you had stayed longer. There was a blessing in your honor.”

Ru didn’t know how to respond to that. An apology? An explanation? She wondered if it was even true, or if Lady Bellenet was trying to put her on uneven footing. “Was there?” she said at last.

“Indeed. We prayed and drank to your health. Wherever did you go?” Her smile was sweet but sharp. “I do hope Georgina Brantforde didn’t exhaust you with her endless prattling.”

A burst of panic filled Ru. Lady Bellenet had seen them talking. Then she must know about the book. She tried to relax; her conversation with Georgina had been innocent and mostly one-sided. It was only a book. What did Lady Bellenet care?

And then, like a fire being doused with water, Ru’s panic disappeared. Her chest relaxed, her shoulders slumped. She was a churning sea reduced to calm waters in a moment. She took a long, uneven breath. Set down her teacup.What does it matter? she thought.The artifact doesn’t matter. Nothing does.How comforting it was to simply exist, to feel nothing at all.

Lady Bellenet smiled. “How are you feeling, Miss Delara?”

Ru said nothing. She couldn’t answer the question; she wasn’t feeling at all.

With deliberate movements, Lady Bellenet sipped from her teacup, watching Ru intently. “I’d tell you not to worry, but I know you couldn’t if you tried. See how lovely it is to let go of your cares? Your sorrows? You could be as joyful as my Children, devoting their lives to Festra, their god. It would be quite easy. Icould leave you just like this. No fear or worries at all for the rest of your life.”

“I see,” said Ru. She couldn’t think of any reason why it wouldn’t be as Lady Bellenet said. Though when she tried to feel that joy the woman spoke of, there was nothing. Only a vast emptiness.

Lady Bellenet sighed and made a dramatic show of rolling her eyes and slumping in her chair. “You’re ever so boring like this, aren’t you? Fine, have your fears back. Your sorrows and your terrors. You’ll need them for the Cleansing, anyway.”

Like a dam suddenly broken, rushing in a frenzied chaos, Ru’s emotions came slamming back to her all at once. She gripped the edge of the table, overwhelmed for a moment by the force of it.

“Take your time,” said Lady Bellenet, sipping her tea daintily.

“What did you do?” Ru said at last, her voice unsteady. She asked, but she knew exactly what the lady had done. She’d somehow taken her emotions from her and left her an empty shell, devoid of everything that made herRu. In retrospect, it was one of the most unsettling experiences in Ru’s life, though at the time, she’d felt nothing at all.

Lady Bellenet shrugged one shoulder dismissively. “Oh, just a simple tonic for the nerves. Though I hardly touched you. If I had used my full power, I could have made you sweet and docile with no hope of ever returning to yourself. It is my gift.”

“Your gift…” Ru said, momentarily lost for words. They had done all that work to uncover Lady Bellenet’s powers, and here she was, discussing them with Ru as if it were nothing.

“Quite,” said Lady Bellenet, smiling a bit too gleefully. “How do you feel?”

Ru was still shaken by the experience, her throat tight, breaths unsteady. “I feel wonderful,” she lied. “A tonic indeed. How did you do it?”

The lady’s mouth pursed. “A lady does not reveal her methods. But it is not easy work, nor would I use it upon you lightly. What you felt was only a hint, a taste. I wouldn't want to lose you altogether, would I? But I needed you to see.”

“See what?” Ru asked, tasting blood where she gnawed her lip. Lady Bellenet had called her power atonic for the nerves. It was far more than that. If Ru had only experienced a hint of this woman’s powers… she tried not to shudder at the thought.

“What I can do in the name of Festra,” said Lady Bellenet. “How completely and how far I can spread his word before the glorious end.” She leaned forward as she spoke, increasingly impassioned and bright-eyed. “This gift was bestowed on me by Festra at the moment of my rebirth. When my fear fled, and my pain was healed, he enveloped me and filled me with his love. His light. And when I was whole again, I had been imbued with…this.” She spread her hands, her palms glowing faintly in the setting sun. “His voice, his love. They reside in me.”

Ru’s mind whirled. If she believed what Lady Bellent said, Festra had given her a power that would make it impossible for anyone to defy her. Ru suddenly wondered how many of the courtiers at the palace had been treated with thistonic.

“Then you truly believe?” Ru asked, studying the woman across from her. “In Festra, I mean.”

Lady Bellenet laughed. “How could I not? I have seen him. You yourself have felt my power. And yet you still question.”

“Taryel has powers,” Ru said, unable to stop herself, “but he was born with them. They weren’t gifted by any deity. Maybe you’re the same and only managed to use your power later in life.”

Lady Bellenet laughed. “An academic to the core,” she said. “No, I was not born with the light of Festra within.”

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