I was not going to ask about her breakup, but I feel like maybe she wants me to? Or at least won’t mind, since she keeps mentioning it?
Seth:Was your breakup bad?
Molly:Not really… We weren’t in love or anything
Weren’t in love! She is talking to me aboutlove?She is admitting she sometimesfeelsit? I have to restrain myself from hitting the coffee table again.
Molly:It was more the timing… We broke up RIGHT before covid
Molly:So i’ve been alone, basking in my own charming company for four months
Molly:And as much as I pride myself on being a self-sufficient introvert curmudgeon, it turns out that I like human companionship
Molly:Also sex. Could have done with some sex to pass the time
SEX? Not to be a teenage boy about it, but SHE SAID SEX???
Seth:There’s always cam boys
Molly:Who needs cam boys when dick pics are free?
Oh my God, she wentthere?I suddenly feel like I’m punching above my weight class in terms of escalating flirtation. But I try to reply as blithely as possible.
Seth:There is indeed a robust dick pic economy
Seth:Something to console myself with on the lonely nights to come
Molly:Receiving dick pics?
Seth:Distributing them
Molly:I do not for one second believe you have ever sent a dick pic
Seth:I have
Seth:Only tastefully and upon request
Molly:I zero percent believe you
Seth:Why?
Molly:Because you’re like a civilized courtly gentleman from 1849
I no longer feel like a teenage boy. I feel like an adult man with an absolutely rock-hard erection. And if Molly thinks I don’t know how to sext, she has failed to understand the concept of “gentleman in the streets, freak in the sheets,” despite having witnessed me embodying it in real life.
So I am going to remind her.
Seth:That’s not what you said when I came on your tits
There is not immediately a response bubble to indicate she’s typing, and I instantly worry that I offended her. I bite my lip, stressed-out, as she finally begins replying.
Molly:LOL
Molly:That doesn’t count. You were drunk and i took advantage of your impaired sense of decency
Oh, girl, it is on.
Seth:My cock didn’t see it that way